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This test consists of 5 multiple choice questions, 5 short answer questions, and 10 short essay questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. How does Viorst describe the first loss we experience as humans?
(a) Launch of independence.
(b) New beginning.
(c) First separation.
(d) Original loss.

2. Henry David Thoreau's little isolated cabin was how far from his mother's house?
(a) Ten miles.
(b) One day on a horse.
(c) One mile.
(d) One state away.

3. According to Viorst, what are we all striving to be?
(a) A narcissist.
(b) Someone who makes our mother proud.
(c) A well-adjusted adult.
(d) A separate self.

4. In Chapter 8, the author discusses another "necessary loss." Which one is it?
(a) The limitations imposed on us due to our being male or female.
(b) The loss of the exclusive love of our mother.
(c) That we must let go in order to love.
(d) The loss of our heterosexuality.

5. According to Viorst, grown-up love must begin with what?
(a) The separation of self from the other.
(b) A mature understanding of self.
(c) An ability to forgive others.
(d) Two grown adults.

Short Answer Questions

1. In the example of a woman dreaming of a German Nazi officer, she is really associating with what?

2. How does the author feel we can move past re-creating what has already happened?

3. Winnicott argues that denying _____ prevents "the developing child from facing and learning to tolerate" this emotion in themselves.

4. When does it become clear to the child that his needs are different than his mother's?

5. According to Chapter 11, we sometimes fear that our fantasies can do what?

Short Essay Questions

1. Why were Hansel and Gretel so close to each other relationally?

2. When a child sees a mother as all-good or all-bad, how can this affect their future relationships?

3. What did Alfred Adler note about the relationship between siblings and how it influences who we become as adults?

4. Why does sibling rivalry tend to diminish with age?

5. Endocrinologist Estelle Ramey uses what example to support her theory that virtually all differences between male and female are cultural?

6. Describe the four stages of standing alone.

7. Why do we have fantasies?

8. According to Viorst, why is it okay to have fantasies that are inappropriate if they aren't acted upon?

9. Denying hate prevents what, according to Winicott?

10. What support does Viorst give to the Cinderella Complex?

(see the answer keys)

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