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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What are the bouncers dressed up as?
(a) Native American medicine men.
(b) Nubian slaves.
(c) Aladdin's genie.
(d) Roman soldiers.

2. With whom does the narrator make a lunch date for the next day?
(a) Clara Tillinghast.
(b) Vicky Hollins.
(c) The Druid.
(d) Megan Avery.

3. Where does the narrator decide to go?
(a) The office.
(b) The Lion's Head Pub.
(c) Odeon.
(d) Home.

4. How does the narrator clean out his desk?
(a) He dumps everything into wastebaskets.
(b) He and Megan separate everything into piles.
(c) He enlists the help of a moving company.
(d) He takes everything into Clara's office and dumps it.

5. How does the narrator's mother describe the pain she is in?
(a) She likens it to the pain she felt during the narrator's birth.
(b) She likens it to going to the dentist.
(c) She likens it to having a sunburn.
(d) She likens it to a broken arm.

6. What is one subject that the narrator and his mother talk about?
(a) They talk about the Patriot's season.
(b) They talk about her future grandchildren.
(c) They talk about New York City subways.
(d) They talk about the narrator's sex life.

7. What medicine does the narrator take from Megan's bathroom?
(a) Nasal spray.
(b) Morphine.
(c) Tylenol.
(d) Valium.

8. What relationship of Megan's surprises the narrator?
(a) She has a daughter.
(b) She is actually married.
(c) She lives with her mother.
(d) She has a son.

9. According to Megan, what was the only coherent thing Alex said when he was discovered?
(a) Facts wait for no man.
(b) He was being attacked by pygmies.
(c) One more martini, please.
(d) Bright lights, big city.

10. Why has Michael come to get the narrator?
(a) Their father has died unexpectedly.
(b) He is getting married the next day and the narrator is the best man.
(c) The narrator owes Michael money.
(d) The next day is the anniversary of their mother's death.

11. What image of their mother does Michael keep in his memory?
(a) An image of their mother raking leaves.
(b) An image of their mother coughing.
(c) An image of their mother falling asleep.
(d) An image of their mother baking bread.

12. What pain medication is their mother taking?
(a) Tylenol.
(b) Valium.
(c) Morphine.
(d) Advil.

13. What have they resolved to leave in Clara's office?
(a) A large pile of cocaine.
(b) A bunch of balloons.
(c) Rolls and rolls of toilet paper.
(d) Fred, the ferret.

14. What phrase does Wade want on the narrator's epitaph?
(a) The facts of life.
(b) As a matter of fact.
(c) Facts wait for no man.
(d) He didn't face facts.

15. What does the narrator want from Amanda?
(a) He wants an explanation for her abandonment.
(b) He wants her to go back home with him.
(c) He wants her to trip and fall on the runway.
(d) He wants her to give back her engagement ring.

Short Answer Questions

1. What drink does the narrator order at the bar?

2. What is the narrator's punishment for failing in his duty?

3. Where in the mail room was the animal found?

4. What does the narrator offer to trade with the man?

5. What does the narrator feel he must relearn?

(see the answer keys)

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