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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What advice does Walter Tyler give the narrator?
(a) Never look Clara in the eyes.
(b) Read Hazlitt and write before breakfast every day.
(c) Drink a glass of red wine before bedtime.
(d) Speak softly and carry a big stick.

2. To what does the narrator compare Vicky's childhood?
(a) Arcadia.
(b) Heaven.
(c) Babylon.
(d) Camelot.

3. How was the narrator's innocent advice perceived by his superiors at the magazine?
(a) They were completely outraged at his presumption.
(b) They were in awe and immediately promoted him.
(c) They promptly fired him and he has been on the job market ever since.
(d) There never found out that he did it.

4. What does the narrator attempt to sit and write about?
(a) He tries to write about the magazine.
(b) He tries to write about Allagash.
(c) He tries to write about Amanda.
(d) He tries to write about his brother.

5. Upon his return to the office, what has the narrator forgotten?
(a) Megan's bagel.
(b) Clara's pen.
(c) Alex's drink.
(d) Fred's leash.

6. How many martinis has Alex had during the course of lunch?
(a) Two.
(b) One.
(c) Three.
(d) Four.

7. Who has called in sick to the office?
(a) Megan Avery.
(b) Clara Tillinghast.
(c) The narrator.
(d) The Druid.

8. Where do Tad and the narrator go to party?
(a) The Smith.
(b) New Jersey.
(c) Dubai.
(d) Odeon.

9. What does the homeless person do on the narrator's train ride to work?
(a) The homeless man steals the New York Post.
(b) The homeless man accosts the narrator.
(c) The homeless man sits on an old lady.
(d) The homeless man steals the narrator's cocaine.

10. What scent does the narrator catch on Bleecker street?
(a) A dumpster.
(b) Fresh fish.
(c) Coffee from open windows of an apartment building.
(d) An Italian bakery.

11. What suit does the narrator take against Amanda?
(a) Irreconcilable differences.
(b) Grand larceny.
(c) Sexual abandonment.
(d) Annulment.

12. Who has left a message for him inside the apartment?
(a) Amanda.
(b) His father.
(c) Michael.
(d) Tad Allagash.

13. Where does Alex suspect homosexuality "comes from"?
(a) One's upbringing.
(b) Vaccines given to children.
(c) Hollywood.
(d) Hormones injected into beef.

14. Who is Alex Hardy?
(a) The narrator's brother.
(b) A doorman who occasionally works the elevator.
(c) A fiction editor emeritus.
(d) A fellow Facts Department coworker.

15. Who is the narrator's direct supervisor?
(a) Megan Avery.
(b) Yasu Wade.
(c) Rittenhouse.
(d) Clara Tillinghast.

Short Answer Questions

1. Where does the narrator call from an empty office on the thirtieth floor?

2. Does the narrator enjoy dancing with Elaine?

3. How does the narrator react when Rich asks him about Amanda?

4. What kind of cigarettes does Dolly smoke?

5. How many siblings does Vicky have?

(see the answer keys)

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