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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. For what crime was the author arrested?
(a) Making an illegal U-turn.
(b) Driving a car without registration.
(c) Speeding.
(d) Murder.

2. What happened before the author could ask Zaheera out?
(a) She moved to America.
(b) She married her boyfriend, Gary.
(c) The author was sentenced to work in the salt mines.
(d) She was captured by Zulu extremists.

3. What advice did Patricia give the author about prioritizing between his wife and mother?
(a) Patricia said that a man's mother should always come first.
(b) Patricia said that men should be the tie-breaker in arguments between their wives and mothers.
(c) Patricia said that men should not respect women at all.
(d) Patricia said that a man's wife should always come first.

4. Why did the police officer help the author secure legal counsel?
(a) The officer would get a kickback for giving the lawyer a client.
(b) The officer did it because it was the right thing to do.
(c) The officer did it because it was his legal duty.
(d) The officer did it by mistake.

5. How did the author first respond in his trial when he thought the judge asked him how he was?
(a) He said he was feeling relaxed.
(b) He said he was not fine.
(c) He mockingly repeated the question.
(d) He said he was doing great.

6. Which pop culture character did the author use as inspiration for putting together his outfit for the matric dance?
(a) The Fonz, from Happy Days.
(b) George Brady, from The Brady Bunch.
(c) Neo, from The Matrix.
(d) Baron Samedi, from Live and Let Die.

7. What did the author discover in a stolen object, causing him to rethink his life of crime as described in the story "The Cheese Boys"?
(a) He discovered family pictures in a digital camera.
(b) He discovered a dead person's ashes in a stolen vase.
(c) He discovered drugs in a child's fanny pack.
(d) He discovered a young woman's diary in a stolen suitcase.

8. What did the girls in the author's grade want him to do for Valentine's Day?
(a) They wanted him to make them all valentines.
(b) They wanted him to dress as cupid.
(c) They wanted him to teach their boyfriends to dance.
(d) They wanted the author to ask out his friend, Maylene.

9. What happened when the author dropped Babiki off at her house?
(a) They kissed.
(b) She screamed that she never wanted to see him again.
(c) Her dad came out and yelled at them.
(d) They shared a bottle of wine.

10. How did the author supplement his income during grade 12?
(a) He became a guard at the mall.
(b) He got a job working in a field.
(c) He performed at stand up comedy gigs.
(d) He sold pirated CDs.

11. How did the author know Tom and Bongani?
(a) They were his principal's sons.
(b) They were his mentors at school.
(c) They worked for him.
(d) They were his brothers.

12. How does the author describe his dating life when he was in grade 9 at Sandingham?
(a) He was seen as an attractive but dangerous bad boy.
(b) He was not considered popular or attractive.
(c) He had a new girlfriend or boyfriend every week.
(d) He was so skilled at seduction that other people came to him for advice.

13. Who paid for the author's lawyer and bail money?
(a) Abel.
(b) Bogani.
(c) Robert.
(d) Patricia Nombuyiselo Noah.

14. What cartoon character's name did Patricia use to refer to Teddy?
(a) Danger Mouse, for his penchant for danger.
(b) Mickey Mouse, because of his white face.
(c) Buggs Bunny, because of his buck teeth and sense of humor.
(d) Sylvester the Cat, due to his severe speech impediment.

15. How did Zaheera feel about the author?
(a) She liked him back and secretly wished that he would ask her out.
(b) She hated him.
(c) She did not know that he existed.
(d) She thought of him as just a friend.

Short Answer Questions

1. What did the author assume about the teacher who yelled at his dance crew for chanting on Hitler's behalf?

2. What did Bongani reveal to the author about Babiki after everyone came out of the dance to look at her?

3. What happened to the unemployment rate in South Africa after apartheid?

4. What is a "cheese boy" in the vernacular of Alexandra, South Africa?

5. How did the security footage distort the author's appearance after he and Teddy stole from the store?

(see the answer keys)

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