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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Whom does Mr. Smith believe is honest?
(a) No one.
(b) Dr. Mackenzie-King.
(c) Mrs. Smith.
(d) The Royal Navy.

2. How does Mr. Smith calm the agitated Mrs. Smith before the Martins arrive?
(a) He recites poetry.
(b) He shakes her.
(c) He kisses her.
(d) He slaps her.

3. According to Mrs. Martin, what does she prefer over a sparrow in a barrow?
(a) A bird in the bush.
(b) A robin in a bobbin.
(c) An eagle on the wing.
(d) A sprite in the night.

4. When do the Watsons not have business competition?
(a) Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays.
(b) Tuesdays, Mondays, and Saturdays.
(c) Tuesday, Wednesdays, and Sundays.
(d) Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Tuesdays.

5. In Mrs. Smith's story, "The Bouquet", why does the fiancé take back the bouquet of flowers?
(a) To teach his fiancée a lesson.
(b) To paint them yellow.
(c) To give them to his mother.
(d) To get a refund.

6. Why does Mr. Smith refuse to follow the advice he is given by the Fire Chief?
(a) He does not want tea.
(b) He cannot find the matches.
(c) He already kissed his wife.
(d) It is raining.

7. When traveling to London by train, in which coach does Mr. Martin sit?
(a) The Engine.
(b) Coach No. 8.
(c) Coach No. 1.
(d) Coach No. 2.

8. What question does the Fire Chief ask the Martins?
(a) May I kiss your wife, sir?
(b) Have you a door?
(c) Have you any tea?
(d) There's nothing burning at your house either?

9. What did Mrs. Martin see a man doing on the Underground?
(a) Running up and down the tracks.
(b) Tying his shoelace.
(c) Sneezing.
(d) Reading a newspaper.

10. Why does the Fire Chief refuse to visit Mr. Durand?
(a) He is uninsured.
(b) His doorbell is broken.
(c) He does not have any tea.
(d) He is not English.

11. What does Mrs. Smith ask the Fire Chief to do?
(a) Pour the tea.
(b) Stand behind the divan.
(c) Answer the door.
(d) Take off his helmet and sit down.

12. According to Mr. Martin, what should a person do if he catches a cold?
(a) Get a colt.
(b) Drink tea.
(c) Run in circles.
(d) Stand on his head.

13. According to the Fire Chief, why can't he put out a fire at a naturalized citizen's house?
(a) They drive on the wrong side of the road.
(b) They don't have the right to have their fires put out.
(c) They do not know how to make tea properly.
(d) They cannot be insured.

14. What type of stories does the Fire Chief tell?
(a) Tall tales.
(b) Fairy tales.
(c) Adventure stories.
(d) True stories.

15. Which mildly offensive word does Mrs. Smith begin to chant after Mr. Smith begins his bird name chant?
(a) Doo doo.
(b) Poo Poo.
(c) Caca.
(d) Darn it.

Short Answer Questions

1. In the Fire Chief's story, "The Cock", which animal did the cock wish to play?

2. Who is at the door when Mrs. Smith opens it?

3. Why does Mary scold Mr. and Mrs. Martin?

4. What complaint does Mrs. Smith have about men?

5. What does Mary claim is her real name?

(see the answer keys)

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