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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Why did Mrs. Smith find no one at the door the third time the doorbell rang?
(a) The Fire Chief was hiding.
(b) Mr. Smith was in the kitchen.
(c) The Fire Chief was already in the kitchen.
(d) Mr. Smith was hiding.

2. What comment does Mrs. Smith make about the Fire Chief's story, "The Headcold"?
(a) It must be true because colds are terribly common.
(b) Frightening.
(c) Almost unbelievable.
(d) Astounding.

3. Which character suddenly says, "I've been goosed."?
(a) Mrs. Martin.
(b) Mr. Martin.
(c) Mrs. Smith.
(d) Mr. Smith.

4. According to Mr. Smith, what is the reason for a ringing doorbell?
(a) The tea is ready.
(b) Someone is at the door waiting to be admitted.
(c) The fire is out.
(d) No one is at the door.

5. What complaint does Mr. Smith have about women?
(a) They eat too much and drink too little.
(b) They spend all day playing golf and reading romance novels.
(c) They spend all day smoking, powdering their noses and drinking.
(d) They snore and sing in their sleep.

6. According to Mr. Smith, what behavior do Mary and the Fire Chief demonstrate?
(a) True love.
(b) Timidity.
(c) Fiery anger.
(d) Exhibitionism.

7. With what unamazing story does Mrs. Martin amaze the Smiths?
(a) The train stopped three times before arriving at the station.
(b) She saw a man kneeling to tie his shoelace.
(c) Her grandmother has caught a cold.
(d) She saw a dog barking at a mailman.

8. What orders has the Fire Chief been given?
(a) To kiss all the pretty ladies.
(b) To extinguish all the fires in the city.
(c) To have his tea.
(d) To ring all the bells in the city.

9. What does Mrs. Martin offer to trade for a coffin?
(a) Mr. Martin.
(b) A gold ring.
(c) A silver salver.
(d) Her mother-in-law's slippers.

10. Why is the Fire Chief disappointed?
(a) No one will kiss him.
(b) The tea is cold.
(c) The door bells have all been rung.
(d) He cannot find a fire.

11. According to Mrs. Smith, what must one look out of in real life?
(a) Thin air.
(b) The window.
(c) Rose tinted glasses.
(d) The door.

12. What conclusion do Mr. and Mrs. Martin reach at the end of their discussion?
(a) They do not know each other.
(b) They are siblings.
(c) They are married.
(d) They are cousins.

13. According to Mr. Smith, why was the second Marie from the story "The Headcold" also named Marie?
(a) Because she was a typist, like the first Marie.
(b) Because she was blonde, like the first Marie.
(c) She is the second cousin twice removed of the first Marie.
(d) They are twins.

14. What is Mrs. Watson's first name?
(a) Bobby.
(b) John.
(c) George.
(d) Sam.

15. Why does the Fire Chief refuse to visit Mr. Durand?
(a) He does not have any tea.
(b) He is not English.
(c) He is uninsured.
(d) His doorbell is broken.

Short Answer Questions

1. What time is it when the clock strikes 17 times at the beginning of the play?

2. According to Mr. Smith, what will happen if one caresses a circle?

3. Why does Mrs. Smith kiss the Fire Chief?

4. To what does Mr. Smith compare doctors and their patients?

5. According to Mr. Martin, what is a staff?

(see the answer keys)

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