A little Later.—­Made a good start.  Appointed Professor POPOFF to be our Naturalist.  He is a little out of practice, but passed the preliminary examination very satisfactorily.  Only made one trifling mistake.  Said that tea-roses belonged to the cactus family.  Fancy they don’t, but am not sure.  The suggestion that cucumbers were dug out of the ground like potatoes, was only an error of judgment.  Anyone might have made it.  But although rusty in his science, he is well up in machine-gun drill.  He will suit the expedition to a nicety.  Artillery, Cavalry, and Infantry in first-rate condition.

Later still.—­Made our first important scientific discovery to-day.  Find that you can’t grow broad beans on the soil at the base of the Ironice Mountains.  At least you may plant them, but they won’t grow to any size within the space of half-a-dozen hours.  Tried the experiment.  To clear the necessary space of ground, had to remove the natives.  Did this in gallant style with the assistance of all branches of the Service.  The Professor rendered valuable support with his Gatling.  Hadn’t time to bury the kilted, but said some kind things, when bidding them adieu, to the wounded.

Further on.—­Most anxious to discover whether canaries sing half-way up the Ironice Mountains.  Had some little trouble in establishing a footing on the plateau.  After eight hours’ hard fighting got to the required spot.  The natives seem to have no respect for scientific research.  Had to remove them in the usual fashion.  The Cavalry had to abandon their horses, but the dismounted men were most useful in burning villages.  The Professor continued to carry up his Gatling, and used it with the customary result.  When we got to the plateau, disappointed to find no canaries.  So we could not ascertain whether they would sing at that altitude.  However, when we have completed the proposed railway, it will be quite easy to bring up a few of those charming birds, and continue the interesting experiment.

Later.—­After six weeks’ hard fighting, have at last got to the summit.  Cleared the place of the natives according to the recognised scientific formula.  The Infantry had to use their bayonets freely.  The Professor again well to the front with his Gatling.  He is a wonderful man, and seems to have been accustomed to it all his life.  It is almost a pity that he should be so devoted to science.  He would have made a first-rate soldier.

Nearly the Latest.—­Sorry that our expedition has not been entirely successful.  I am very much afraid that it will be impossible to grow watercresses at this altitude, even with the genial aid of orchid-forcing houses.  I do not see how we could get up the necessary materials to the summit, although assisted by proposed railway.  Still, when the line is constructed, we might make the attempt.  But from a commercial point of view, I do not believe that the experiment would repay the cost.