Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, August 13, 1892 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 28 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, August 13, 1892.

Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, August 13, 1892 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 28 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, August 13, 1892.

Sequel.—­Delighted to find that our scientific expedition has one result.  I have consulted the Professor, and we are both of the opinion, that from the summit of the Ironice Mountains it is possible to get a splendid bird’s-eye view of India.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  GOING ON BOARD.]

* * * * *

FORTE SCUTUM SALUS DUCUM.

In St. SWITHIN’s forty days
Comes the end of voting-frays;
Forty extra then arrays

                    Mr. G.

He had hoped for many more,
But he cannot even score
Forty-four, that fought he for—­

                    Mr. G.

Fortified with fortitude. 
Rule your motley multitude,
And so earn our gratitude

                    Mr. G.!

Oh majority, you know
“Gently does it;” therefore go
Quite piano, Forty—­show

                    Mr. G.

Though his forty is not fat,
It is fair at least; so that
JOHN shall not be taxed for PAT,

                    Mr. G.

Spare him income tax that grieves,
Lest he think that he perceives
ALI BABA’s Forty ——­

                    Mr. G.!

* * * * *

WALKER!—­Mr. TOOLE is going into the country, and Mr. GARDEN is to take his place.  This sounds like a seasonable change, as Londoners who cannot get away to a Garden, will now have a GARDEN coming to them.

* * * * *

“NO FEES.”

(IN RE PAYNE V. ’ENRY HAUTHOR JONES.)

Alas, poor JONES, how sad your fate! 
The Law’s stern coldness comes to freeze
Your burning wish to captivate
With words you know will always please—­
“No fees!”

When “bang goes saxpence” for a page
Of poorest paper, where one sees
More puffs than programme, then your rage
Seems right.  One cries, “At least for these
No fees!”

If Dr. BRAMWELL,[1] who they say
Cures psychological disease,
Had known he would have willed away
Your PAYNE, like tooth-ache—­he would seize
“No fees!”

You’ve lost the case, and now, “that’s flat,"[2]
Must pay those eminent Q.C.’s
Your Bill of Costs!  No Play-bill that! 
You will not find the Law decrees
“No fees.”

[Footnote 1:  Mentioned in Times Leading Article, Aug. 3.]

[Footnote 2:  “That’s flat.”  HENRY (AUTHOR SHAKSPEARE) IV., Part I., Act I., Scene 3.]

* * * * *

A TRIO.—­Congratulations to Sir WILLIAM CUSINS, who from his known admiration for WAGNER, is generally known as “Cusins German.”  He was a “King’s Scholar,” and KING, whoever he was, must have found him a remarkably apt pupil.  He has composed a Comic Opera called Giddy ’Un.  The next Knight is JOSEPH BARNBY, a name suggestive of pure rustic music.  The last of the Knights, Sir WALTER PARRATT, has chosen as his device the ancient legend always associated with the head of the PARRATT family, i.e., “Scratch a Poll.”  This dates from very ancient times, and was an inscription found in a temple of Apollo.

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, August 13, 1892 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.