he needn’t pay it if he cuddent.  Th’ coort wud give him a letther of inthroduction to th’ bridewell an’ he cud stay there f’r two hundhred days.  At that rate it’ll be a long time befure Jawn D. an’ me meet again on the goluf-links.  Hogan has it figured out that if Jawn D. refuses to go back on his Puritan principles an’ separate himsilf fr’m his money he’ll be wan hundhred an’ fifty-eight thousand years in cold storage.  A man ought to be pretty good at th’ lock step in a hundhred an’ fifty-eight thousand years.

“Well, sir, glory be but times has changed whin they land me gr-reat an’ good frind with a fine that’s about akel to three millyon dhrunk an’ disorderly cases.  ’Twud’ve been cheaper if he’d took to dhrink arly in life.  I’ve made a vow, Hinnissy, niver to be very rich.  I’d like to be a little rich, but not rich enough f’r anny wan to notice that me pockets bulged.  Time was whin I dhreamed iv havin’ money an’ lots iv it.  ‘Tis thrue I begun me dhreams at th’ wrong end, spent th’ money befure I got it.  I was always clear about th’ way to spend it but oncertain about th’ way to get it.  If th’ Lord had intinded me to be a rich man He’d’ve turned me dhreams around an’ made me clear about makin’ th’ money but very awkward an’ shy about gettin’ rid iv it.  There are two halves to ivry dollar.  Wan is knowin’ how to make it an’ th’ other is not knowin’ how to spend it comfortably.  Whin I hear iv a man with gr-reat business capacity I know he’s got an akel amount iv spending incapacity.  No matter how much he knew about business he wuddent be rich if he wasn’t totally ignorant iv a science that we have developed as far as our means will allow.  But now, I tell ye, I don’t dhream iv bein’ rich.  I’m afraid iv it.  In th’ good old days th’ polis coorts were crowded with th’ poor.  They weren’t charged with poverty, iv coorse, but with the results iv poverty, d’ye mind.  Now, be Hivens, th’ rich have invaded even th’ coorts an’ the bridewell.  Manny a face wearin’ side whiskers an’ gold rimmed specs peers fr’m th’ windows iv th’ black Maria.  ’What’s this man charged with?’ says th’ coort.  ’He was found in possession iv tin millyon dollars,’ says th’ polisman.  An’ th’ judge puts on th’ black cap.”

“Well,” said Mr. Hennessy, “‘tis time they got what was comin’ to thim.”

“I’ll not say ye’re wrong,” said Mr. Dooley.  “I see th’ way me frind Jawn D. feels about it.  He thinks he’s doin’ a great sarvice to th’ worruld collectin’ all th’ money in sight.  It might remain in incompetint hands if he didn’t get it.  ’Twud be a shame to lave it where it’d be misthreated.  But th’ on’y throuble with Jawn is that he don’t see how th’ other fellow feels about it.  As a father iv about thirty dollars I want to bring thim up mesilf in me own foolish way.  I may not do what’s right be thim.  I may be too indulgent with thim.  Their home life may not be happy.  Perhaps ‘tis clear that if they wint to th’ Rockyfellar institution