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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. According to Mrs. Smith, what must one look out of in real life?
(a) The door.
(b) The window.
(c) Rose tinted glasses.
(d) Thin air.

2. Why does Mary scold Mr. and Mrs. Martin?
(a) For being arrested.
(b) For sleeping on the divan.
(c) For going out that afternoon.
(d) For arriving late.

3. On what street does Mr. Martin live?
(a) Cherry Lane.
(b) Martin Ave.
(c) Bromfield Street.
(d) Piccadilly Street.

4. What appears unusual about Mr. and Mrs. Martin's relationship during their first scene?
(a) They refuse to look at each other.
(b) They speak only to the Smiths, and not to each other.
(c) They do not recognize each other.
(d) They complete each other's sentences.

5. What advice does the Fire Chief give the Smiths after the doorbell discussion has ended?
(a) Light another fire.
(b) Pour the tea.
(c) Kiss each other.
(d) Leave the house.

6. According to Mr. Martin, what time does the 8:30 morning train arrive in London?
(a) 1:00 a.m.
(b) 4:45 p.m.
(c) 12:00 p.m.
(d) 8:30 a.m.

7. According to the Fire Chief, what is the reason for a ringing doorbell?
(a) To play a merry tune.
(b) The tea is ready but the scones are not always done.
(c) Sometimes, someone is there and sometimes, no one is there.
(d) To tell the homeowner the fire is out.

8. According to Mr. Smith, what behavior do Mary and the Fire Chief demonstrate?
(a) Fiery anger.
(b) True love.
(c) Timidity.
(d) Exhibitionism.

9. According to Mrs. Smith, what was saltier than the soup?
(a) The biscuits.
(b) Mr. Smith.
(c) The tarts.
(d) The air.

10. Why didn't Mrs. Smith bring the bottle of Australian Burgundy to the table?
(a) She wanted to set a good example for the children.
(b) The bottle was empty.
(c) It clashed with the tablecloth.
(d) Mr. Smith wanted rum instead.

11. How did Mary spend her afternoon?
(a) She recited poetry in the foyer, drank rum, and slept on the divan.
(b) She slept in the park and was arrested for loitering.
(c) She sang in the park, drank sherry, and danced in the kitchen.
(d) She went to the cinema, drank brandy and milk, and read the paper.

12. What question does the Fire Chief ask the Smiths?
(a) Have you a light?
(b) Where is the tea?
(c) Where is the door?
(d) Is there a fire here?

13. According to Mr. Martin, what is a staff?
(a) A peacekeeping tool.
(b) A laugh.
(c) Bread.
(d) The perfect wedding gift.

14. Which mildly offensive word does Mrs. Smith begin to chant after Mr. Smith begins his bird name chant?
(a) Caca.
(b) Doo doo.
(c) Darn it.
(d) Poo Poo.

15. Why can't the Fire Chief retell the story of "The Headcold"?
(a) He doesn't know if he has enough time.
(b) He is too tired.
(c) He must put out a fire in the kitchen.
(d) He can't remember it.

Short Answer Questions

1. Why is Mr. Smith angry when he meets the Martins?

2. Why does Mr. Smith refuse to follow the advice he is given by the Fire Chief?

3. Why did the Fire Chief ring the doorbell?

4. How many helpings of fish did Mrs. Smith have at dinner?

5. What conclusion do Mr. and Mrs. Martin reach at the end of their discussion?

(see the answer keys)

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