Suicide

Suicide is the central, unavoidable subject of the memoir, and Li approaches it with a level of candor and stylistic control that makes the memoir both compelling and painful to read. Her prose is clear, restrained, and exacting. She refuses sentimentality and resists consolatory narratives, allowing the reader to encounter grief as sustained exhaustion. In this respect, the book succeeds powerfully as an account of parental bereavement. The suffering it records is extreme, and Li’s refusal to soften that suffering commands genuine sympathy.

At the same time, the memoir’s treatment of suicide raises serious ethical and conceptual problems. Again and again, Li frames suicide through the language of free will, deliberation, and rational choice. She speculates that her sons, particularly James, arrived at their decisions through extended thought rather than instability or acute distress. These reflections are offered tentatively, often acknowledged as conjecture, but their cumulative...