Non-Horseshit Horse Advice; and Another Horse Story Summary

Henry Bukowski opens by paraphrasing one of Freud's pupils: gambling is a substitute for masturbation. He notes that at the Hollywood Park racetrack, women's skirts climb higher with each race until by the ninth race it is hard to refrain from raping them. This aside, he settles into explaining the principles of "horse-wagering" for those unfamiliar: the state and track's 15% take on each dollar bet, "breakage" (rounding pennies down to closest dime), the odds of losing, handicapping, wrong instincts, and mathematics. Bukowski identifies himself as a "hard-nose," accepting that he will neither win nor lose much. He refuses to reveal his system, but offers a few suggestions for how to save some money: 1) watch the "underlay shots," 2) lay off "closers," 3) bet on closers only in shorter races, if one must, 4) watch...