Redefining Masculinity

In “Someday I’ll Love Ocean Vuong,” Vuong ultimately rejects the paternity and masculinity represented by his father. Because his father has chosen to abandon him, Vuong also practices agency himself by choosing to no longer have the abandonment maintain a psychological power over him. He essentially reclaims from his father the forgetting that has led him to contend with the trauma of a fractured family – “Your father is only your father / until one of you forgets” (4-5). Therefore, the process of forgetting suggests the possibilities of chosen family: Vuong can designate as family those who will unconditionally stand by him, rather than depending on a biological father whose presence falls far short of the permanence falsely suggested by a direct blood relation. Of course, Vuong acknowledges the lasting pain that his father’s model of masculinity has left on him and does liken it...