Part 2, Chapter 1 Summary

Zapp awakens at 5 a.m., which is 3 p.m. in Queensland, Australia, where Rodney Wainwright of the University of North Queensland is working on a paper for Zapp's Jerusalem conference. Wainwright knows his students are on the beach. They will drink and barbecue after sundown and then swim in the nude. He pictures buxom Sandra Dix from English 351. Wainwright no longer desires his broad-bottomed wife Bev, but he knows he is out of the running for the likes of Dix. He also knows he needs to finish Zapp's paper, on which he is blocked, because it could be the key to a better teaching position.

Zapp forces himself out of bed at 5:15, depressed by a life of too much alcohol, cigars and globetrotting. Shaving helps, as does strong instant coffee. Zapp dresses comfortably for travel and double-checks his life-support system. Swallow...