"Unlike the obsessive counting and touching, rocking was not a mandatory but a voluntary and highly pleasurable exercise," p. 12.

"Danger was everywhere and it was our father's lifelong duty to warn us," p. 47.

"After a while we began to wonder if my father had any friends who could still tie their own shoes or breathe without the aid of a respirator." p. 49.

"It seemed that anyone could solve a murder as long as he had a telephone, a few hours of spare time, and a wet bar," p. 62.

"I was at the orthodontist's office, placing a pox upon the practice of dentistry, when the visiting actor returned to the classroom," p. 98.

"Were I to receive a riding vacuum cleaner or even a wizened proboscis monkey, it wouldn't please me half as much as knowing we were the only family in the neighborhood with a prostitute in our kitchen...