Summary

In the opening of the novel, a few lines from Rudyard Kipling’s poem "The Law for the Wolves" are presented.

In the first chapter, titled “The Octopus,” forty-two-year-old Los Angeles resident Edward “Ted” Flask speaks directly to the reader. Ted describes his twelve-year-old dog, a dachshund named Lily, with whom he sets aside time on Thursday nights to talk about younger guys they find attractive, such as Chris Hemsworth, Chris Evans, and Chris Pine. While discussing Chris Pratt, Ted notices an octopus sitting on Lily’s head. Ted is perplexed by this. Lily says she does not want to talk about it. Ted cannot understand how he could not have noticed it before. Ted can sense the octopus is a burden for Lily, so he asks her if it hurts. Lily explains that it does sometimes. Ted cuddles up with Lily the way...