Summary

In “The Weirdos,” the narrator writes that on their first date, her boyfriend talked to her about aliens and said that God had sent him a message through her left eyeball. She hated the boyfriend, but liked the neighborhood in which the apartment complex that he managed was located. The boyfriend claimed that he was a professional actor and just looking for the perfect time to break into the acting business. He was short, a characteristic that made the narrator think perhaps the experience was to teach her humility.

The boyfriend also had a yellow sports jacket that he claimed was vintage, but the narrator recognized it was a contemporary woman’s blazer. When he got a call to audition for a beer commercial, he told the narrator they were going to...