Chapter 5 Summary

Styron compares his own situation with that of Emma Bovary in Madame Bovary when the desperate Emma seeks help from a parish priest for her madness but receives only platitudes. Styron's first visit with his psychiatrist, Dr. Gold, sends the author on a journey of trial and error with medications and cognitive therapy. The failure of these things to act quickly keeps the depressed person in a state of perpetual anxiety and hopelessness.

Styron recalls clinging desperately to familiar items such as reading glasses and a pen in an attempt to stem the tide of life slipping hopelessly away. Also during this advanced stage of his disease, Styron experienced an overwhelming sense of hopelessness which forced him to his bed for several hours each day where he would lie with his anguish until he could muster the strength to eat and then return...