The Lincoln Tunnel

The entire story chronicles the thoughts and memories that pass through the narrator's mind as he drives through the Lincoln Tunnel from New York to New Jersey, stuck in traffic.

Fig Newtons

The narrator loves Fig Newtons. While the narrator is in college, he tries to sneak a snack of Fig Newtons, which turns into a dorm party of four men, ultimately leading to a laxative-eating contest.

Boomo-Lax

Boomo-Lax laxatives taste like chocolate bon-bons, but they go off like hand grenades in the intestines. Umbaugh challenges three of his dorm-mates to a Boomo-Lax eating contest.

The Margate Elephant

The Margate Elephant is a giant wooden elephant constructed on a New Jersey beach.

New Jersey

New Jersey is the "light at the end of the tunnel," and the home of the narrator as an adult. Though New Jersey is cheesy, the narrator loves it.

Indiana

The...