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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What size is the diamond that the soldier brings back to offer as proof to the king?
(a) The size of a pineapple.
(b) The size of a mango.
(c) The size of an apple.
(d) The size of a plum.

2. Once a child who was born with troubles had a mother who wore her ___________ like a strand of pearls, even though the child might have lived to be 50 years old.
(a) Anger.
(b) Truth.
(c) Pride.
(d) Martyrdom.

3. The author admits to being collected at cocktail parties, but inside, she is undergoing ___________________.
(a) Football games.
(b) Open heart surgery.
(c) Misery.
(d) Marathons.

4. Sexton writes that the apple has no worm in it for the apple is ___________.
(a) Whole.
(b) Diseased.
(c) Gone.
(d) Ripe.

5. After the wolf eats up Red Riding Hood, he is now ___________ as well as dark and hairy.
(a) Guilty.
(b) Bored.
(c) Full.
(d) Fat.

6. The daughter who has two eyes is as common as ____________ in the eyes of the mother.
(a) Pennies.
(b) Corn.
(c) Grains.
(d) Clouds.

7. The princess feels the frog is as awful as an ___________ when it sits on her lap at dinner.
(a) Undertaker.
(b) Egret.
(c) Academic.
(d) Understanding.

8. The suburban _________ is described as a deceiver, as one who is not all that she seems to be.
(a) Maid.
(b) Manager.
(c) Librarian.
(d) Matron.

9. When the two were married, they decided to live on a _______________.
(a) Sugar cube.
(b) Farm.
(c) Castle.
(d) Ant farm.

10. The princess chokes as she eats, as though she were eating a small ___________.
(a) Cat.
(b) Fish.
(c) Puppy.
(d) Frog.

11. The wizard informed the king that a ___________ had been born, but the king did not mind.
(a) Son.
(b) Monster.
(c) Changeling.
(d) Wolf.

12. The next trees that the solder sees are made of ___________ and he takes one as well to ensure he has proof.
(a) Sapphires.
(b) Diamonds.
(c) Rubies.
(d) Emeralds.

13. On which nighttime show does the comic who commits suicide on the night before his death appear?
(a) Late Show.
(b) Jimmy Kimmel.
(c) Tonight Show.
(d) Tom Snyder.

14. The girl had to stretch her neck out in order to eat a ________ from the tree.
(a) Grape.
(b) Pear.
(c) Banana.
(d) Apple.

15. The _______________ places long distance calls in the middle of the night and holds the phone as they vomit.
(a) Drunken boyfriend.
(b) Drunken priest.
(c) Drunken poet.
(d) Drunken grandma.

Short Answer Questions

1. Where does the golden ball go when the princess accidentally loses it in the poem?

2. What does the ground do in the presence of a frog, since it has boil disease and a belly full of parasites?

3. What does the mother give to the children the next day when they are traveling in the woods to try to lose the children once again?

4. Who does the prince hire to guard the bedroom at night so he and the princess can have time together?

5. What is the first animal the musician calls to him when he is alone in the forest for a long time?

(see the answer keys)

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