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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Who does Ralph want to use for his next subject?
(a) Bogus.
(b) Lydia.
(c) Kent.
(d) Tulpen.

2. What did Lydia's boyfriend attempt to steal?
(a) A pendant.
(b) A gold football pin.
(c) A cowbell.
(d) A button.

3. Why is Bogus having plumbing problems?
(a) The plumber sabotaged the house.
(b) His pipes are copper.
(c) The Water-Method is causing overuse.
(d) He sublet his house to athletes.

4. What did Bogus need to accomplish for Biggie to stay with him after her friends left on the night he met Biggie?
(a) He needed to find her a decent snack to satisfy her.
(b) He needed to complete Merrill's urine test.
(c) He needed to finish writing the poem.
(d) He needed to convince her friends to stay.

5. How did Bogus convince Biggie he's been faithful?
(a) He had Biggie call the man from the bar.
(b) He had her taste his skin.
(c) He dared her to smell his penis.
(d) He showed her there were no marks on his body.

6. What does Bogus believe happened to Mr. Fitch?
(a) He left his wife.
(b) He died.
(c) He moved in the night.
(d) He locked himself in the house.

7. What lie did Bogus tell the Northwestern Bell Telephone Company?
(a) He had already paid the bill for the month.
(b) He didn't own a phone.
(c) He was currently out of checks.
(d) He didn't make calls for which he was charged.

8. Who was with Bogus the night he lost his virginity?
(a) His father.
(b) The local bartender.
(c) Couth.
(d) Mr. Fitch.

9. Whom does Bogus encounter in the night?
(a) Colm.
(b) Biggie.
(c) Tulpen.
(d) Mr. Fitch.

10. Who is Bogus's doctor?
(a) Dr. Vermillion.
(b) Dr. Vigneron.
(c) Dr. Vaughn.
(d) Dr. Vincent.

11. How did Bogus get caught in his lie when he returned home from the country?
(a) He smelled of perfume.
(b) He had a woman's hair on his shirt.
(c) He was wearing a condom.
(d) He had lipstick on his collar.

12. What did Merrill claim was at the bottom of the Danube?
(a) A ship.
(b) A treasure.
(c) A tank.
(d) A body.

13. Why didn't Merrill want to be around Biggie and Bogus?
(a) They left him out of conversations.
(b) They teased him about wetting the bed.
(c) They smelled funny.
(d) They were in love.

14. Which solution does Tulpen think Bogus should choose?
(a) The ointment.
(b) Abstinence.
(c) The Water-Method.
(d) The surgery.

15. What is Bogus's father's career?
(a) Urologist.
(b) Proctologist.
(c) Podiatrist.
(d) Cardiologist.

Short Answer Questions

1. While Bogus was daydreaming about Merrill finding the tank, what errand did Biggie send him on?

2. Who discovered Bogus had an STD after his first act of intercourse?

3. Where was Biggie's check refused?

4. Tulpen is said to believe in facts. What does Bogus believe in?

5. What is Bogus's opinion of Tulpen?

(see the answer keys)

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