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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Who does the Salesman sell random useless kitchen equipment to?
(a) William Lee
(b) An American housewife
(c) Pat Sajack
(d) Carl Peterson

2. What room number does the Lieutenant say William Lee is staying in?
(a) 111
(b) 606
(c) 529
(d) 223

3. During their search of William, what do the inspector’s analyze?
(a) His wife
(b) His children
(c) His briefcase
(d) His body

4. After his meeting with the doctor, what does Carl ask to evaluate photographs of?
(a) Monkeys
(b) Young boys
(c) Dogs
(d) Pinup girls

5. The Sailor tells the boy that, “The trap hasn’t been aired since the Exterminator fumigated for” what?
(a) Heroin
(b) Drug addicts
(c) Coke bugs
(d) Roaches

6. What does “Fats” Terminal learn in order to survive?
(a) The Algebra of Need
(b) The Art of Forgiveness
(c) The Way of Zen
(d) The Science of Junk

7. What does Dr. Schafer refer to his live patient as?
(a) The Elephant Man
(b) The Complete All American Deanxietized Man
(c) The Annihilated Sociopath of America
(d) The Culturally Desensitized Monkey

8. In which city do people have the least amount of privacy?
(a) Interzone
(b) Freeland
(c) Brooklyn
(d) Queens

9. A junky, even at the Sailor’s level, runs on what?
(a) Mean time
(b) Junk time
(c) Caffeine
(d) Street time

10. How long is the sentence for “jostling”?
(a) 5 months and 29 days
(b) 1 year and 20 days
(c) 2 months
(d) 6 months and 10 days

11. Who are Russian agents who pretend to be American tourists?
(a) Hassan and Dr. Schafer
(b) Carl Peterson and Jody
(c) William Lee and AJ
(d) Clem and Jody

12. Which of the following groups fights against the Senders?
(a) The Divisionists
(b) The Factualists
(c) The Senders
(d) The Liquefactionists

13. At the meeting, what does the doctor want to homosexuality as?
(a) An addiction
(b) A disease
(c) A healthy state of mind
(d) The road to recovery

14. What is the government on the Island comprised of?
(a) Pigs
(b) Armadillos
(c) Baboons
(d) Raccoons

15. Who does A.J. fund a school for?
(a) Orphaned girls
(b) Priests
(c) Reptiles
(d) Delinquent boys

Short Answer Questions

1. What is Hauser ordered to search for in William’s hotel room?

2. Carl’s test results indicate that he is negative for what?

3. What does the Sailor use to cook heroin?

4. What is the subject of the conference that Dr. Schafer attends?

5. What organization distributes bulletins spelled out in obscene charades by hebephrenics?

(see the answer keys)

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