1. How does Mencken feel about the overall capacity for virtue in the human race?
(a) Very few men are virtuous.
(b) Everyone is virtuous, it's just a matter of uncovering it.
(c) Virtue is a nonsense term, because everything is relative.
(d) Most people are virtuous, but a few people spoil it for everyone.

2. What "call" does Mencken make to America's poets in Chapter 7?
(a) He wishes them to speak upon the beauty of the female figure.
(b) He wishes them to rewrite Ode to a Grecian Urn.
(c) He wishes them to write a funeral service for the damned.
(d) He wishes them to burn all of their poems and drown themselves.

3. Why is Mencken unable to embrace democratic political theory, as he himself states it in Chapter 9?
(a) He is incapable of being envious of others.
(b) He is morally superior to democrats.
(c) He is not poor, and so cannot see democracy's benefits.
(d) He is simply too cultured and sophisticated.

4. Per Chapter 2, what kind of person has Mencken never met?
(a) An altruist who actually did good for anybody.
(b) A metaphysician who was intellectually curious.
(c) A quack with a conscience.
(d) A moral man that was honorable.

5. What is the fundamental flaw of the democratic style of government?
(a) Voting systems can never be 100% accurate.
(b) There are simply too many intelligent people to decide between.
(c) The people are not competent to govern themselves.
(d) Over time, democracy resembles monarchy.