all the poultry.  I’ll put a trick on you you’ll bear in mind all your born days.  So he catches old Dearborne, and pulls all the feathers off his breast, and strips him as naked as when he was born, from his throat clean down to his tail, and then takes a bundle of nettles and gives him a proper switchin that stung him, and made him smart like mad; then he warms some eggs and puts them in a nest, and sets the old cock right a top of ’em.  Well, the warmth of the eggs felt good to the poor critter’s naked belly, and kinder kept the itchin of the nettles down, and he was glad to bide where he was, and whenever he was tired and got off his skin felt so cold, he’d run right back and squat down agin, and when his feathers began to grow, and he got obstropolous, he got another ticklin with the nettles, that made him return double quick to his location.  In a little time he larnt the trade real complete.

Now, this John Porter, (and there he is on the bridge I vow, I never seed the beat o’ that, speak of old Saytin and he’s sure to appear;) well, he’s jist like old Dearborne, only fit to hatch eggs.  When we came to the Bridge, Mr. Slick stopped his horse, to shake hands with Porter, whom he recognized as an old acquaintance and customer.  He enquired after a bark mill he had smuggled from the States for him, and enlarged on the value of such a machine, and the cleverness of his countrymen who invented such useful and profitable articles; and was recommending a new process of tanning, when a female voice from the house was heard, vociferating, “John Porter, come here this minute.”  Coming, my dear, said the husband.  “Come here, I say, directly, why do you stand talking to that Yankee villain there.”  The poor husband hung his head, looked silly, and bidding us good bye, returned slowly to the house.  As we drove on, Mr. Slick said, that was me—­I did that.  Did what? said I. That was me that sent him back, I called him and not his wife.  I had that are bestowment ever since I was knee high or so; I’m a real complete hand at Ventriloquism; I can take off any man’s voice I ever heerd to the very nines.  If there was a law agin forgin that as there is for handwritin, I guess I should have been hanged long ago.  I’ve had high goes with it many a time, but its plaguy dangersome, and I don’t pracTISE it now but seldom.  I had a real bout with that are citizen’s wife once, and completely broke her in for him; she went as gentle as a circus horse for a space, but he let her have her head agin, and she’s as bad as ever now.  I’ll tell you how it was.  I was down to the Island a sellin clocks, and who should I meet but John Porter; well, I traded with him for one, part cash, part truck and proDUCE, and also put off on him that are bark mill you heerd me axin about, and it was pretty considerable on in the evenin afore we finished our trade.  I came home along with him, and had the clock in the waggon to fix it up for him, and to shew him how to regilate