Nor were the words scarce out of his mouth, when a beadle rapp’d at the door, and one in white, with a company of roisters following him, came in upon us:  For my part I was not a little surprized; and by his lordliness taking him for the Mayor of a town, and our selves within his liberties, was getting upon my feet.  Agamemnon laught to see me so concerned, and bade me sit still; “for,” said he, “this Habinas is a captain of horse, a good mason, and has a special faculty in making monuments.”

Recovered again with his words, I kept my seat, and wholly fix’d my eye on Habinas:  He came in drunk, and lolling on his wife’s shoulders, with some garlands about him, his face all trickling down with ointment, he seated himself at the head of the table, and incontinently called for wine and hot water.

Trimalchio was pleased with the humour, and calling for a bigger glass, asked him what entertainment he had whence he came?

“Every thing,” said the other, “but thy self; for my inclination was here; tho’ (so help me Hercules) it was all well.  Scissa kept a nine-days feast for his servant Miscellus, whom he infranchised after he was dead:  It is said he had a round sum in the chequer, for they reckon he died worth 50,000 sesterces; yet this was all done in good order; tho’ every one of us were obliged to pour half his drink on the grave.”

“But,” said Trimalchio, “what had ye to eat?” “I’ll tell ye,” quoth Habinas, “as near as I can, for my memory is not so good, but that sometimes I forget my own name:  However, for the first dish we had a goodly porker, with a garland upon him, and puddings, goose giblets, lamb-stones, sweetbreads, and gizzards round him; there were also beets and houshold-bread of his own baking, for himself, which I would rather have than white; it makes a man strong, and I never complain of what I like.  The next was a cold tart, with excellent warm honey, and that Spanish, running upon it.  I eat little of the tart, but more of the honey; I tasted also the red pulse, and lupines, by the advice of Calvus, and several apples, of which I took away two in my handkerchief:  for if I bring home nothing to my little she slave, I shall have snubs enough:  this dame of mine puts me often in mind of her.  We had also on a side-table the haunch of a bear, which Scintilla tasting ere she was aware, had like to have thrown up her guts:  I on the other hand eat a pound of it or better, for methought it tasted like boars flesh; and said I, if a bear eats a man, why may not a man much more eat a bear?  To be short, we had cream cheese, wine boil’d off to a third part, fry’d snails, chitterlings, livers, eggs, turneps, mustard, and a bowl that held a gallon.  Don’t disturb me, Palamedes; there were also handled about a basket of sugar-cakes, of which we wantonly took some, and sent away the gammon of bacon.  But tell me Caius, I beseech you, what’s the matter that Fortunata sits not among us?” “How came you to know her?” quoth Trimalchio; “for till she has gotten her plate together, and distributed what we leave among the servants, not a sip of any thing goes into her mouth.”