For her the guinnea hen and capon’s drest: 
    The stork it self for Rome’s luxurious taste,
    Must in a caldron build its humbl’d nest.

    That foreign, friendly, pious, long-leg’d thing,
    Grateful, that with shrill sounding notes dost sing
    All winter’s gone; yet ushers in the spring. 
    Why in one ring must three rich pearls be worn,
    But that your wives th’ exhausted seas adorn,
    Abroad t’ increase their lust, at home their scorn?

    Why is the costly emerald so desir’d,
    Or richer glittering carbuncle admir’d,
    Because they sparkle, is’t with that you’re fir’d? 
    Well, honesty’s a jewel.  Now none knows
    A modest bride from a kept whore by ’er cloaths;
    For cobweb lawns both spouse and wench expose.”

“But, now we talk after the rate of the learned, which,” said he, “are the most difficult trades?  I think a physician and a banker:  a physician, because he know’s a man’s very heart, and when the fits of an ague will return; tho’ by the way, I hate them mortally; for by their good will I should have nothing but slubber-slops:  And a banker, because he’ll find out a piece of brass money, tho’ plated with silver.

“There are also brute beasts, sheep and oxen, laborious in their kind:  Oxen, to whom we are beholding for the bread we eat; and sheep, for the wooll, that makes us so fine.  But O horrid! we both eat the mutton, and make us warm with the fleece.  I take the bees for divine creatures; they give us honey, tho’ ’tis said they stole it from Jupiter, and that’s the reason why they sting:  For where-ever ye meet any thing that’s sweet you’ll ever find a sting at the end of it.”

He also excluded philosophers from business, while the memoirs of the family were carrying round the table, and a boy, set for that purpose, read aloud the names of the presents, appointed for the guests, to carry home with them.  Wicked silver, what can it not?  Then a gammon of bacon was set on the table, and above that several sharp sauces, a night-cap for himself, pudding-pies, and I know not what kind of birds:  There was also brought in a rundlet of wine, boiled off a third part, and kept under ground to preserve its strength:  There were also several other things I can give no account of; besides apples, scallions, peaches, a whip, a knife, and what had been sent him; as sparrows, a flye-flap, raisons, Attick honey, night-gowns, judges robes, dry’d paste, table-books, with a pipe and a foot-stool:  After which came in an hare and a sole-fish:  And there was further sent him a lamprey, a water-rat, with a frog at his tail, and a bundle of beets.