forces and then by the armed attack of the kinsmen
of the murdered man. When the avengers of the
presumed treachery penetrate into the chapel and call
upon the murderer to declare himself, the horrified
lord of the manor points towards his daughter who,
turning away from her bridegroom, falls lifeless by
the coffin of her victim. This nocturnal drama,
through which ran reminiscences of Leubald und Adelaide
(the work of my far-off boyhood), I wrote in the darkest
vein, but in a more polished and more noble style,
disdaining all light-effects, and especially all operatic
embellishments. Tender passages occurred here
and there all the same, and Weinlich, to whom I had
already shown the beginning of my work on my return
to Leipzig, praised me for the clearness and good
vocal quality of the introduction I had composed to
the first act; this was an Adagio for a vocal septette,
in which I had tried to express the reconciliation
of the hostile families, together with the emotions
of the wedded couple and the sinister passion of the
secret lover. My principal object was, all the
same, to win my sister Rosalie’s approval.
My poem, however, did not find favour in her eyes:
she missed all that which I had purposely avoided,
insisted on the ornamentation and development of the
simple situation, and desired more brightness generally.
I made up my mind in an instant: I took the manuscript,
and without a suggestion of ill-temper, destroyed it
there and then. This action had nothing whatever
to do with wounded vanity. It was prompted merely
by my desire honestly to prove to my sister how little
I thought of my own work and how much I cared for
her opinion. She was held in great and loving
esteem by my mother and by the rest of our family,
for she was their principal breadwinner: the
important salary she earned as an actress constituted
nearly the whole income out of which my mother had
to defray the household expenses. For the sake
of her profession she enjoyed many advantages at home.
Her part of the house had been specially arranged
so that she should have all the necessary comfort
and peace for her studies; on marketing days, when
the others had to put up with the simplest fare, she
had to have the same dainty food as usual. But
more than any of these things did her charming gravity
and her refined way of speaking place her above the
younger children. She was thoughtful and gentle
and never joined us in our rather loud conversation.
Of course, I had been the one member of the family
who had caused the greatest anxieties both to my mother
and to my motherly sister, and during my life as a
student the strained relations between us had made
a terrible impression on me. When therefore they
tried to believe in me again, and once more showed
some interest in my work, I was full of gratitude
and happiness. The thought of getting this sister
to look kindly upon my aspirations, and even to expect
great things of me, had become a special stimulus
to my ambition. Under these circumstances a tender


