I am hard at work.  Can you tell me of any one who would be able to compile a score from my wild pencil sketches?  I worked this time quite differently from what I did before, but this having to make a clean copy kills me.  I lose time over it which I might employ to better purpose; and apart from this, the continual writing tires me to such an extent that I feel quite ill and lose the inclination for real work.  Without a clever man of this kind I am lost; with him the whole will be finished in two years.  For that time I should require the man.  If there were a pause in the scoring, he might copy parts in the meantime.  Look out for one.  There is no one here.  It is true that it may seem absurd that I am going to keep a secretary, who can scarcely keep myself.

If you can help me, you will be doing God’s work.  Am I not worth a few thousand thalers for half a year to some German enthusiast?  I will give him full security on the royalties due to me in the autumn.

On Monday I expect Gustav Schmidt, of Frankfort.  I have summoned him in order to go through “Lohengrin” with him, and perhaps he will bring his tenor.  I am glad to see him so full of zeal.

As to the rest, I shut my ears against all the world.  I do not want to know how low I have sunk.

Shall I hear from you soon?  If you think of me at all, think of me always as of one hard at work and profoundly melancholy.  Farewell, best and dearest friend.  The “Kunstler” is splendid.  Greet all at home.

From your

R. W.

Zurich, march 4th, 1854.

149.

Unique friend,

I am frequently sad on your account; and on my own account I have not much reason to rejoice.  My chief object and task is taking a very serious and painful turn.  I had no right to expect much else in that direction, and was prepared, but these long entanglements which I have to submit to have caused me much trouble and have jeopardised my pecuniary position, so that at present I am unable to assist a friend.  This I feel very much, and prefer to say nothing further about it.  You will understand me and not misinterpret my silence.  When the time comes, I shall explain my affairs to you by word of mouth; they are not rose-coloured, and another man might have perished, which other men might not have disliked to see.

Today I only want to tell you that on the day of the performance of the opera by the Duke of Gotha I met Herr von Hulsen at dinner.  He led the conversation to the performance of your works at Berlin, and told me that he was only waiting till you had sold your rights to Messrs. Bote and Bock in order to produce them.  I made bold to say that I had reason to doubt very much whether this would be done, and that even if B. and B. bought the scores of “Tannhauser” and “Lohengrin” I did not think for a moment that you would abandon your previous demand of my being invited to Berlin in order to secure an adequate rendering of your works.  Write to me how this matter stands.  I do not want to advise you, but I think that the Berlin performance is an important point for you, and that you would gain nothing by altering your previous position—­I mean that the performance should not take place except through my medium and according to my directions.