Letters to His Son on the Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a Gentleman, 1752 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 138 pages of information about Letters to His Son on the Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a Gentleman, 1752.

Letters to His Son on the Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a Gentleman, 1752 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 138 pages of information about Letters to His Son on the Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a Gentleman, 1752.

Lay down first those principles which are absolutely necessary to form a skillful and successful negotiator, and form yourself accordingly.  What are they?  First, the clear historical knowledge of past transactions of that kind.  That you have pretty well already, and will have daily more and more; for, in consequence of that principle, you will read history, memoirs, anecdotes, etc., in that view chiefly.  The other necessary talents for negotiation are:  the great art of pleasing and engaging the affection and confidence, not only of those with whom you are to cooperate, but even of those whom you are to oppose:  to conceal your own thoughts and views, and to discover other people’s:  to engage other people’s confidence by a seeming cheerful frankness and openness, without going a step too far:  to get the personal favor of the king, prince, ministers, or mistresses of the court to which you are sent:  to gain the absolute command over your temper and your countenance, that no heat may provoke you to say, nor no change of countenance to betray, what should be a secret:  to familiarize and domesticate yourself in the houses of the most considerable people of the place, so as to be received there rather as a friend to the family than as a foreigner.  Having these principles constantly in your thoughts, everything you do and everything you say will some way or other tend to your main view; and common conversation will gradually fit you for it.  You will get a habit of checking any rising heat; you will be upon your guard against any indiscreet expression; you will by degrees get the command of your countenance, so as not to change it upon any the most sudden accident; and you will, above all things, labor to acquire the great art of pleasing, without which nothing is to be done.  Company is, in truth, a constant state of negotiation; and, if you attend to it in that view, will qualify you for any.  By the same means that you make a friend, guard against an enemy, or gain a mistress; you will make an advantageous treaty, baffle those who counteract you, and gain the court you are sent to.  Make this use of all the company you keep, and your very pleasures will make you a successful negotiator.  Please all who are worth pleasing; offend none.  Keep your own secret, and get out other people’s.  Keep your own temper and artfully warm other people’s.  Counterwork your rivals, with diligence and dexterity, but at the same time with the utmost personal civility to them; and be firm without heat.  Messieurs d’Avaux and Servien did no more than this.  I must make one observation, in confirmation of this assertion; which is, that the most eminent negotiators have allways been the politest and bestbred men in company; even what the women call the prettiest men.  For God’s sake, never lose view of these two your capital objects:  bend everything to them, try everything by their rules, and calculate everything for their purposes.  What is peculiar to these

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Letters to His Son on the Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a Gentleman, 1752 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.