Letters to His Son on the Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a Gentleman, 1749 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 167 pages of information about Letters to His Son on the Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a Gentleman, 1749.

Letters to His Son on the Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a Gentleman, 1749 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 167 pages of information about Letters to His Son on the Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a Gentleman, 1749.
to them; but, on the other hand, if your motions and carriage are not graceful, genteel, and natural, your fine clothes will only display your awkwardness the more.  But I am unwilling to suppose you still awkward; for surely, by this time, you must have catched a good air in good company.  When you went from hence you were naturally awkward; but your awkwardness was adventitious and Westmonasterial.  Leipsig, I apprehend, is not the seat of the Graces; and I presume you acquired none there.  But now, if you will be pleased to observe what people of the first fashion do with their legs and arms, heads and bodies, you will reduce yours to certain decent laws of motion.  You danced pretty well here, and ought to dance very well before you come home; for what one is obliged to do sometimes, one ought to be able to do well.  Besides, ’la belle danse donne du brillant a un jeune homme’.  And you should endeavor to shine.  A calm serenity, negative merit and graces, do not become your age.  You should be ‘alerte, adroit, vif’; be wanted, talked of, impatiently expected, and unwillingly parted with in company.  I should be glad to hear half a dozen women of fashion say, ’Ou est donc le petit Stanhope? due ne vient-il?  Il faut avouer qu’il est aimable’.  All this I do not mean singly with regard to women as the principal object; but, with regard to men, and with a view of your making yourself considerable.  For with very small variations, the same things that please women please men; and a man whose manners are softened and polished by women of fashion, and who is formed by them to an habitual attention and complaisance, will please, engage, and connect men, much easier and more than he would otherwise.  You must be sensible that you cannot rise in the world, without forming connections, and engaging different characters to conspire in your point.  You must make them your dependents without their knowing it, and dictate to them while you seem to be directed by them.  Those necessary connections can never be formed, or preserved, but by an uninterrupted series of complaisance, attentions, politeness, and some constraint.  You must engage their hearts, if you would have their support; you must watch the ‘mollia tempora’, and captivate them by the ‘agremens’ and charms of conversation.  People will not be called out to your service, only when you want them; and, if you expect to receive strength from them, they must receive either pleasure or advantage from you.

I received in this instant a letter from Mr. Harte, of the 2d N. S., which I will answer soon; in the meantime, I return him my thanks for it, through you.  The constant good accounts which he gives me of you, will make me suspect him of partiality, and think him ‘le medecin tant mieux’.  Consider, therefore, what weight any future deposition of his against you must necessarily have with me.  As, in that case, he will be a very unwilling, he must consequently be a very important witness.  Adieu!

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Letters to His Son on the Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a Gentleman, 1749 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.