“Michael wi’ a K!” said another.

“Goa home to thi dowter, an’ tell her to give thi brains a soap lather!” shouted a voice that was verry like unto Simon’s.

There was a good deal of uproar for a time, but the meeting at length decided by a vote of ten to one in favour of a school board, so the opposition did no good after all, and Michael’s daughter will have to take her chance.

Tha Caps me Nah!

“Has ta heeard th’ news?”

“Niver a word!  What’s up?”

“Old Duke’s getten wed.”

“Nay, tha caps me nah!  An’ who’s th’ gurt maddlin getten wed to?  Awst ha thowt he’d gettin to old to do that.”

“He’s wed Mary o’ Nathan’s o’th’ Sludge Hoil.”

“Well, tha does cap me nah!  Why, he’s old enuff to be her gronfayther ommost.  A’a dear, A’a dear!  Whativer wor shoo thinkin on?  But I reckon shoo mud have a felly o’ some sooart; but awd ha waited a bit longer if awd been her befoor awd ha’ taen up wi’ old Duke; besides he’s a peg leg.”

“Well shoo may’nt like him ony war for that, an’ tha sees it’ll save her a bit o’ trouble, for shoo’ll nobbut have one booit to black.  But shoo’s a trimmer, an’ if he doesn’t live to rue his bargain, awst be chaited.  Shoo play’d him one o’th’ nicest tricks, th’ day after they gate wed ’at awve heeard tell on for a long time.”

“Ha wor that?”

“Well, tha sees he gate rayther fresh o’th’ weddin day, an’ he wor varry dry when he wakken’d next mornin, soa he sed he’d get up an’ goa as far as ‘Th’ Quiet Corner,’ for a leck on; but shoo tell’d him he’d ha to do nowt o’th’ sooart, for it wor ill enough to have a druffen chap at neet withaat havin one ’at started as sooin as he gate up.  But he sed he should goa, an’ shoo said he should’nt, an’ they started o’ threapin, but what does shoo do when he worn’t lukkin, but shoves his peg leg up th’ flue, an’ he sowt it all ovver but couldn’t find it?”

“That wor a cunnin trick onyway, but what sed Duke?”

“He had to stop at hooam ov cooarse, for shoo wod’nt tell him whear it wor until he promised net to goa near th’ alehouse that day, an it had getten towards neet when he promised and as shoo’d kept a gooid fire all th’ time it had getten a fairish warmin, and’ old Duke noa sooiner gate it on an’ wor walkin abaat a bit, nor it mashed like a pot, an’ he fell his whoallength on to th’ floor with his heead i’th’ coilskep.”

“Nay, tha does cap me nah!  Ther’d be a bonny rumpus awl bet.  Did ta hear?”

“Aw heeard nowt noa farther, nobbut some ov his chums gate to know, an soa they made a subscription, an’ bowt him another, an’ they had it painted red, white and blue, an’ sent it lapt up i’ silk paper.  Old Duke wor ommost malancholy when he saw it, but Mary nobbut laft, an started on an’ blackleeaded it, an’ in a varry little time he wor set i’th’ ‘Quiet Corner,’ wi as handsome a peg leg as tha’d wish to see.  They chaff him a gooid bit abaat weddin Mary, but