“This vice of excess
is no foible of mine,
Though liking and needing
a glass of good wine,
To help the digestion, to
quicken the heart,
And loosen the tongue for
its eloquent part,
But never once yielding one
jot to excess,
Nor weakly consenting the
least to transgress.
For let no intolerant bigot
pretend
My Temperance Muse would excuse
or defend,
As Martial or tipsy Anacreon
might,
An orgy of Bacchus, the drunkard’s
delight:
No! rational use is the sermon
I’m preaching,
Eschewing abuse as the text
of my teaching.
“Old Pindar says slyly,
that ‘Water is best;’
When pure as Bandusia, this
may be confest.
But water so often is troubled
with fleas
And queer little monsters
the microscope sees;
Is sometimes so muddy, and
sometimes so mixt
With poisons and gases, both
fixt and unfixt,
And seems so connected with
juvenile pills—
A thought which the mind with
unpleasantness fills—
That really one asks, is it
safe to imbibe
So freely the live animalcula
tribe,
Unkilled and uncooked with
a little wine sauce
Poured in, or of whisky or
brandy a toss—
And gulp a cold draught of
the colic, instead
Of something to warm both
the heart and the head?
“That Jotham-first-fable,
the bramble and vine,
Piles up to a climax the praise
of good wine;
For in Judges we read—look
it up, as you can—
‘It cheereth the heart,
both of God and of man;’
And everywhere lightness,
and brightness, and health,
Gild the true temperance texts
with their wealth,
Giving strong drink to the
ready to perish,
And heavy-heartedness joying
to cherish.
“What is wanted—and
let some Good Templar invent it,
Damaging drunkenness, nigh
to prevent it,
Is a drink that is nice, warm,
pleasant, and pale,
Delicious as ‘cakes,’
and seductive as ‘ale,’
Like ‘ginger that’s
hot in the mouth’ and won’t hurt you,
As old Falstaff winks it,
in spite of your virtue;
A temperate stimulant cup,
to displace
Pipes, hasheesh, and opium,
and all that bad race;
Cheap as pure water and free
as fresh air—
Oh, where shall we find such
a beverage—where?
“No wine for the pure
or the wise—so some teach—
Abstinence utter for all and
for each,
Total denial of every right
use,
Because some bad fools the
good creature abuse!
As well might one vow not
to warm at a fire,
Nor give the least rein to
a lawful desire,
Because some have recklessly
burnt down their houses,
Because the rogue cheats,
or the reveller carouses!
I see not the logic, the rational
logic,
Conclusive to me, coherent
and cogic,
That since some poor sot in
his folly exceeds,
I must starve out my likings,
and stint out my needs.