Adjustments have now been made which reveal a balance on your account of L110 11s. 3d. in our favour.  We trust that you will find it convenient to cover this overdraft at an early date.

With reference to your letter of the 19th inst. containing assorted inquiries, we beg to intimate that we can in no circumstances undertake to advise clients on general matters which lie outside the scope of our interests.

Yours faithfully,
per pro The Cosmopolitan Bkg.  Corpn.

CHARLES O. SHINE.

And this time C.O.S. did not even “remain” in the plural.

I at once showed Butterington this offensive communication.

“Well,” said he, “of course they won’t answer communications unless you have a balance.”

That is the way rich men talk.

“I am never without one,” I replied with dignity, “on one side or the other.”

“There you differ from your namesake, whose balance is clearly always on the right side.  Hence that first kindly letter, addressed to you in error.”

* * * * *

THE ROMANCE OF ADVERTISEMENT.

The following items, culled from recent issues of The Daily Lure, show where you should go to find really interesting, stimulating and flat-catching notices:—­

Partner, with not less than five thousand pounds, wanted for a wild-duck farm in the island of Mull.  Must be a man of iron constitution; Gaelic speaker and teetotaler preferred.

* * *

Wanted, a cheap Desert Island, with a good water-supply and home comforts, by a Georgian poet weary of the racket of Hammersmith.

* * *

Complete suits of armour, guaranteed bottle-proof, ten guineas each, suitable for elderly pedestrians in charabanc areas.

* * *

Madame Bogolubov, Crystal-gazer in ordinary to the ex-King CONSTANTINE, is prepared for a small fee to advise intending explorers, prospectors or treasure-seekers as to suitable spots for excavation, oil-boring, etc.

* * *

Disused Martello Tower on the Irish coast, fifty miles from a police barrack, offered cheap as an appropriate basis of observation to psychic enthusiasts anxious to study the ways of leprechauns, banshees, etc.

* * *

Genuine portraits by VAN DYCK, VELASQUEZ and REMBRANDT must be sold immediately to pay a debt of honour.  Price thirty shillings each, or would take part payment in pre-war whisky.

* * *

Semi-paralysed Yugo-Slav professor, speaking seventeen languages, will give lessons to neo-plutocrats in the correct pronunciation of the names of all the foreign singers, dancers and artists performing or exhibiting in London.

* * *

Persons interested in edible fungi may be glad to take shares in a fungus plantation about to be started in the neighbourhood of Toller Porcorum, Dorchester.