* * * * *

“TO HIM THAT HATH ...”

It was Butterington who first put me up to the idea.  I asked him a simple question about the habits of the Sigalion Boa, a certain worm in whose ways I was taking an interest at the time, and he at once replied that he himself was not in the fur line.

“Whenever,” he went on, “I require information on any subject I apply to my bank.  Why don’t you do the same?”

This opened up an entirely new prospect.  To me my bank was an institution which kept my accounts, issued money and, on occasion, lent it.  It never entered my head that it was also ready to perform the functions of an inquiry office and information bureau.

Previous communications from me had always begun, “Sir, with reference to my overdraft”—­you know the sort of thing one generally writes to banks; expostulating, tactful, temporising letters.

This time however I addressed them in different vein.  Rejecting all mention of overdrafts as being in doubtful taste, I wrote:—­

SIR,—­I shall be greatly obliged if you will kindly inform me, at your early convenience: 

(1) Whether it is a fact that the African rhinoceros has no hair on the hind legs?

(2) Whether, in the case of my backing Pegasus in the first race, ’any to come’ on Short Time in the fourth, and Short Time not starting, I am entitled to my winnings over Pegasus?

(3) Whether, after perusing seventeen favourable reports from mining engineers and eighty-seven enthusiastic directors’ speeches, I am justified in assuming that gold actually does exist in the Bonanzadorado mine?

Yours faithfully,

THESIGER CHOLMONDELEY BEAUCHAMP.

After some delay they answered as follows:—­

SIR,—­We have much pleasure in replying to the queries contained in your favour, of the 27th ult.:—­

    (1) Yes; (2) Yes; (3) No.

Assuring you always of our best endeavours in your service,

We remain, Yours faithfully,
per pro The Cosmopolitan Bkg.  Corpn.

C.O.  SHINE.

So far so good.  The Bank’s manner left nothing to be desired, and its replies were certainly to the point.  I began to think of Mr. C.O.  Shine as my personal friend and speculated as to whether his first name were Claude or Clarence.

During the following week, whenever I became curious on any subject, I made notes of fresh queries to propound.  After accumulating a sufficient number I again wrote to the Bank.  I forget the exact points upon which I required information; one of them, I fancy, was the conjectured geologic age of the Reichardtite strata.  Anyhow I got no answer to any of them.

Instead, three days later, I received the following letter:—­

SIR,—­We regret to announce that, owing to a clerical error in this office, your account was last month wrongly credited with a cheque for L13,097 5s. 10d. which was made payable to another client of the same name.