officit unquam,
  Ditior hic, aut est quia doctior:  est locus uni
  Cuique suus.  Magnum narras, vix credibile.  Atqui
  Sic habet.  Accendis, quare cupiam magis illi
  Proximus esse.  Veils tantummodo:  quae tua virtus,
  Expugnabis; & est qui vinci possit:  eoque
  Difficiles aditus primos habet.  Haud mihi deero,
  Muneribus servos corrumpam:  non, hodie si
  Exclusus fuero, desistam:  tempera quaeram: 
  Occurram in triviis:  deducam.  Nil sine magno
  Vita labore dedit mortalibus.  Haec dum agit, ecce
  Fuscus Aristius occurrit mihi carus, & illum
  Qui pulchre nosset.  Consistimus.  Unde venis? &
  Quo tendis? rogat, & respondet.  Vellere coepi,
  Et prensare manu lentissima brachia, nutans,
  Distorquens oculos, ut me eriperet.  Male salsus
  Ridens dissimulare:  mecum jecur urere bilis. 
  Certe nescio quid secreto velle loqui te
  Aiebas mecum.  Memini bene; sed meliori
  Tempora dicam:  hodie tricesima sabbata, vin’tu
  Curtis Judaeis oppedere?  Nulla mihi, inquam,
  Religio est.  At mi, sum paulo infirmior; unus
  Multorum ignosces; alias loquar.  Hunccine solem
  Tam nigrum surrexe mihi:  Fugit improbus, ac me
  Sub cultro linquit.  Casu venit obvius illi
  Adversarius; &, Quo tu turpissime! magna
  Inclamat voce; &, Licet antestari?  Ego vero
  Oppono auriculam; rapit in jus.  Clamor utrinque
  Undique concursus.  Sic me servavit Apollo.

[Transcriber’s Note:  See end of Essay for translation information.]

The Intention of Horace in this Piece, is to expose an impertinent Fellow, and to give a ludicrous Detail of his own Embarrassment; Your Pleasure arises from the View which he gives you of his own Mortification, whereby he lays himself fairly open to your Raillery; This is the more poignant, and quick, from the real Distress which you see he endur’d, in this odd Attack; At the same Time the particular Turn of the Fellow, who chose in this Manner to pin himself upon another, is a very odd Species of impertinent Humour.—­This Piece, as it stands, irresistibly forces your Mirth, and shakes you with Laughter; But to a Person of Discernment, it is chiefly at Horace’s Expence; Who in receiving and enduring such insolent Treatment, appears in a Light too low and ridiculous, though he has thought fit himself to exhibit the Scene again for the Diversion of the Public;

The
      Misere, cupis, ——­ abire,
  Jamdudum video, sed nil agis, usque tenebo,
  Persequar;—­

was an absolute Insult; And very unfit to be related by the Person who suffer’d it, as a Matter of Merriment;—­Besides this Tameness of Horace, the Impudence of the Fellow is excessively nauseous and disgusting at the Bottom, though the whole carries a Froth of Raillery and Humour upon the Surface.