[She sits beside the table.

COAST. Adores!  Say!  That’s the word I want to use about you!

[Follows GEORGIANA to table, moves chair to front, and sits.

GEORGIANA.  Nonsense, Sam!  Do you know anything about some stocks called
United Copper?

COAST. Rotten!  Don’t touch it!

GEORGIANA.  My brother had a tip this morning on United Copper and wanted me to give him some money to put in it.

COAST. Listen! don’t you do it.

GEORGIANA.  I wish you’d use your influence with Steven to help him.

COAST. How?

GEORGIANA.  You must know how mad he is over speculation?  But perhaps you don’t know that he has gone through all his own money, and, if she’ll let him, he’ll go through his wife’s next. [Smiling.] Then I suppose it would be my turn!

COAST. Why doesn’t he keep out of it?

GEORGIANA.  He can’t, we must keep it out of him!  Out of his blood!

COAST. There’s only one way.

GEORGIANA.  What?

COAST. Ruin him!

GEORGIANA.  That’s too anarchistic!  You speculate.

COAST. But I always win!

GEORGIANA.  Can’t you teach him?

COAST. Listen, if I could do that, I’d be the richest man in the world before I got through.

GEORGIANA.  Can’t you give Steve a tip on some sure things?

COAST. There ain’t any sure things.

GEORGIANA.  Why, other friends of Steve are always “putting him on to something good.”

COAST. And what happens?

GEORGIANA. [Smiling distressfully.] Well, he does lose, usually.

COAST. I guess so!

GEORGIANA.  But you must often have inside information.

COAST. And how much is that worth?

[Takes up the false nose from table.

GEORGIANA.  Well, it usually costs Steve all he has!  But I thought you—­

COAST. [Interrupting.] Miss Georgiana, you see this false nose?

GEORGIANA.  Yes.

COAST. [Putting it on.] Well, now what do I look like?

GEORGIANA. [Laughing.] I shouldn’t like to say!

COAST. Exactly!  Well, see?  That’s what I’d be if I believed in tips and “inside information.”  If a man gives your brother a good tip, let him drop it like hot lead.  People with a real good tip ain’t giving it away.  There’s never enough to divide up and go around,—­not in this world,—­and inside information that gets told to a lamb like your brother is too damned outside information for me!

[He rises and moves away, half in irritation, half in humor.

GEORGIANA.  Oh!  Oh!

COAST. Pardon.

GEORGIANA.  Are you as rich as people say?

COAST. Richer!

GEORGIANA.  How did you get it?

COAST. I started my dough with a mine.

GEORGIANA.  Why can’t you put Steve into a mine?