but his Shirt and his Stockings; and the Mistress of
the House being my Friend, I borrowed of her an old
Mant and Petty-coat; which the Fool of a Fop put on.
I told him I must intreat his Patience for half an
hours time, till the Company was Drest, and so went
down Stairs; and telling of my Friend how it went,
and we being to go half Snips in the Booty, I went
off with the things, which I pawn’d for about
four Pounds, keeping his Rings to my self, and left
my Landlady to manage the rest. After the Disrobed
Spark had waited for the space of an hour with great
Petience, and longing Expectation, for this Comical
Show, and no Body came at him, his Patience was quite
tir’d, and therefore knocking with his foot,
the Maid of the House came up, of whom he enquired
for such a Person, as well as he could, describing
me. The Maid pretended an intire Ignorance of
the matter, and so whipp’d down Stairs again.
But he knocking again, up comes the Mistress, who
seeming to take him for a Woman, ask’d him, What
he would have? He answer’d, Such a Woman
to whom he’d lent his Cloaths; but she not
only made her self Ignorant of the matter, but call’d
him Bitch, Whore, Cheat, Pick-Pocket, and all
to nought, concluding her Harmonious Harrangue in
this manner, Ye dirty Drab, don’t think to
put your Cheats upon me: You came in here with
a Spruce Young Man, and for ought I know you have
Pick’d his Pocket, and sent him away, and now
you go about to Cheat me of my Reckoning; but that
shan’t do ye Whore_, for I’ll have
my Reckoning quickly, or else I’ll Strip your
Gown off your Arse_; but the poor Rogue having no
Money to pay, she forthwith stript him of his Mant:
And thus half Naked, in a Petticoat slit up to the
Breeches; an old broken pair of Stays, and a few Ragged
Head-Cloaths, he was kick’d down Stairs into
the Street. And being willing to know the end of
this Comical Adventure, I had planted one to watch
what he did: Who followed him at a distance till
he went into an Alehouse_ in Foster-Lane,
where my Spy went in after him, and called for a Pot
of Drink; and there heard him tell a Lamentable Story
how he was robb’d by some Foot-Pads (as
he came from Hampstead, where he had been to
see his Uncle) who had stript him of all his
Cloaths, and given him those things to cover his Nakedness:
The People of the House compassionated him very much,
and lent him a Suit of Cloaths, Hat and Wig, with
which he went to his Master’s, who was a Goldsmith,
and liv’d at the sign of the ——
in Cheapside.—And I appeal to you Madam,
whether he wasn’t serv’d in his kind._
I think, reply’d the Goldsmiths Lady, you are very happy and Ingenious in all your Contrivances; and for ought I know, might have contributed more to reclaim him from those Courses, than all the Lectures and Sermons that could have been Preached against ’em; for one wou’d think he should have but little Mind any more to those Sweet Meats which were attended with such sower Sauce—But pray go on with the Story of your Life.


