The London-Bawd: With Her Character and Life eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 143 pages of information about The London-Bawd.

The London-Bawd: With Her Character and Life eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 143 pages of information about The London-Bawd.
but his Shirt and his Stockings; and the Mistress of the House being my Friend, I borrowed of her an old Mant and Petty-coat; which the Fool of a Fop put on.  I told him I must intreat his Patience for half an hours time, till the Company was Drest, and so went down Stairs; and telling of my Friend how it went, and we being to go half Snips in the Booty, I went off with the things, which I pawn’d for about four Pounds, keeping his Rings to my self, and left my Landlady to manage the rest.  After the Disrobed Spark had waited for the space of an hour with great Petience, and longing Expectation, for this Comical Show, and no Body came at him, his Patience was quite tir’d, and therefore knocking with his foot, the Maid of the House came up, of whom he enquired for such a Person, as well as he could, describing me.  The Maid pretended an intire Ignorance of the matter, and so whipp’d down Stairs again.  But he knocking again, up comes the Mistress, who seeming to take him for a Woman, ask’d him, What he would have? He answer’d, Such a Woman to whom he’d lent his Cloaths; but she not only made her self Ignorant of the matter, but call’d him Bitch, Whore, Cheat, Pick-Pocket, and all to nought, concluding her Harmonious Harrangue in this manner, Ye dirty Drab, don’t think to put your Cheats upon me:  You came in here with a Spruce Young Man, and for ought I know you have Pick’d his Pocket, and sent him away, and now you go about to Cheat me of my Reckoning; but that shan’t do ye Whore_, for I’ll have my Reckoning quickly, or else I’ll Strip your Gown off your Arse_; but the poor Rogue having no Money to pay, she forthwith stript him of his Mant:  And thus half Naked, in a Petticoat slit up to the Breeches; an old broken pair of Stays, and a few Ragged Head-Cloaths, he was kick’d down Stairs into the Street. And being willing to know the end of this Comical Adventure, I had planted one to watch what he did:  Who followed him at a distance till he went into an Alehouse_ in Foster-Lane, where my Spy went in after him, and called for a Pot of Drink; and there heard him tell a Lamentable Story how he was robb’d by some Foot-Pads (as he came from Hampstead, where he had been to see his Uncle) who had stript him of all his Cloaths, and given him those things to cover his Nakedness:  The People of the House compassionated him very much, and lent him a Suit of Cloaths, Hat and Wig, with which he went to his Master’s, who was a Goldsmith, and liv’d at the sign of the ——­ in Cheapside.—­And I appeal to you Madam, whether he wasn’t serv’d in his kind._

I think, reply’d the Goldsmiths Lady, you are very happy and Ingenious in all your Contrivances; and for ought I know, might have contributed more to reclaim him from those Courses, than all the Lectures and Sermons that could have been Preached against ’em; for one wou’d think he should have but little Mind any more to those Sweet Meats which were attended with such sower Sauce—­But pray go on with the Story of your Life.

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The London-Bawd: With Her Character and Life from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.