208.  So much of a man’s happiness and of his efficiency through life depends upon his mind being quite free from all anxieties of this sort, that too much care cannot be taken to guard against them; and, I repeat, that the great preservation of all is, the young couple living as much as possible at home, and having as few visitors as possible.  If they do not prefer the company of each other to that of all the world besides; if either of them be weary of the company of the other; if they do not, when separated by business or any other cause, think with pleasure of the time of meeting again, it is a bad omen.  Pursue this course when young, and the very thought of jealousy will never come into your mind; and, if you do pursue it, and show by your deeds that you value your wife as you do your own life, you must be pretty nearly an idiot, if she do not think you to be the wisest man in the world.  The best man she will be sure to think you, and she will never forgive any one that calls your talents or your wisdom in question.

209.  Now, will you say that, if to be happy, nay, if to avoid misery and ruin in the married state, requires all these precautions, all these cares, to fail to any extent in any of which is to bring down on a man’s head such fearful consequences; will you say that, if this be the case, it is better to remain single?  If you should say this, it is my business to show that you are in error.  For, in the first place, it is against nature to suppose that children can cease to be born; they must and will come; and then it follows, that they must come by promiscuous intercourse, or by particular connexion.  The former nobody will contend for, seeing that it would put us, in this respect, on a level with the brute creation.  Then, as the connexion is to be particular, it must be during pleasure, or for the joint lives of the parties.  The former would seldom hold for any length of time:  the tie would seldom be durable, and it would be feeble on account of its uncertain duration.  Therefore, to be a father, with all the lasting and delightful ties attached to the name, you must first be a husband; and there are very few men in the world who do not, first or last, desire to be fathers.  If it be said, that marriage ought not to be for life, but that its duration ought to be subject to the will, the mutual will at least, of the parties; the answer is, that it would seldom be of long duration.  Every trifling dispute would lead to a separation; a hasty word would be enough.  Knowing that the engagement is for life, prevents disputes too; it checks anger in its beginnings.  Put a rigging horse into a field with a weak fence, and with captivating pasture on the other side, and he is continually trying to get out; but, let the field be walled round, he makes the best of his hard fare, and divides his time between grazing and sleeping.  Besides, there could be no families, no assemblages of persons worthy of that name; all would be confusion and indescribable intermixture:  the names of brother and sister would hardly have a meaning; and, therefore, there must be marriage, or there can be nothing worthy of the name of family or of father.