‘Yes,’ replied the Doctor to the Squire, ’I knew him to keep
    one.’

    ‘Let it out,’ said the Squire.

    ‘An engagement to get married.’

‘Hm!’ replied the Squire, looking over his spectacles with the air of one who had been deceived.  At this moment JERRY BUDDEN, a jolly-looking, fat, middle-aged man entered the office quietly and coolly, having all the air of one who arrived half an hour before the appointed time of meeting.

    ‘Got ahead of time this morning, any way,’ said Jerry.

‘The devil you did!’ spoke the Squire, testily; ’you are seven minutes behind time this morning; you would be behindhand to-morrow and next day, and so on as long as you live.  Confound it, Jerry, you make me mad with your laziness and coolness.  Ahead of time! why look at that watch!’—­Here the Squire, pulling out a plethoric-looking, smooth gold watch, about the size of a bran biscuit, held it affectionately in the palm of his right hand.  ‘Look at that watch!’

    ‘Nice watch,’ said Jerry, ’very nice watch.  The best of watches
    will sometimes get out of order though.  How long since you had
    it cleaned?’

The Squire looked indignant, and broke out, ’I’ve carried that watch more’n thirty year; I have it cleaned regularly, and it is always right to a minute, always!  It’s you that want regulating.’

    ‘Can’t help it,’ spoke Jerry; ’I got ahead of time this
    morning.’

    ‘Bet you a hat on it,’ said the Squire.

‘Done!’ answered Jerry.  And, putting his hand in his pocket, he deliberately produced the torn page of an old almanac, and, pointing to part of an engraving of the man with an hour-glass, said to the Squire,—­

    ‘Hain’t I got a Head of Time—­this morning?’

    Jerry now wears a new hat!

* * * * *

‘What poor slaves are the American people!’ says the Times’ own RUSSELL.  ’They may abjure kings and princes, but they are ruled by hotel-keepers and waiters.’  The following translation from the Persian shows, however, that a man may be a king or a prince and a hotel-keeper at the same time.

A ROYAL HOTEL-KEEPER.

FROM THE PERSIAN.  BY HENRY P. LELAND.

  IBRAM BEN ADHAM at his palace gate,
  Sits, while in line his pages round him wait;
  When a poor dervish, staff and sack in hand,
  Straight would have entered IBRAM’S palace grand. 
  ‘Old man,’ the pages asked, ‘where goest thou now?’
  ‘In that hotel,’ he answered, with a bow. 
  The pages said,—­’Ha! dare you call hotel
  A palace, where the King of Balkh doth dwell?’
  IBRAM the King next to the dervish spoke: 
  ‘My palace a hotel?  Pray, where’s the joke?’
  ‘Who,’ asked the dervish, ‘owned this palace first?’
  ‘My grandsire,’ IBRAM said,