* * * * *

TO DR. LOUIS ROBINSON.

    (Who said at the British Association that a Baby was an
    animal as interesting as any which had been brought from the
    uttermost parts of the Earth.)

  Quite right, Dr. ROBINSON, perfectly right,
    No longer the need to repair to the Zoo;
  No longer we’ll see with increasing delight
    The quarrelsome Monkey, the blithe Kangaroo. 
  But the “animal’s interest” shall charm us instead,
    Though it’s scarcely a charm you’ve discovered,—­at least
  There’s many a father who’s pointedly said,
    That his int’resting Babe was a “mere little beast!”

* * * * *

SEASONABLE BUT UNFAIR.—­When you have to pay heavily for light refreshments.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  ATAVISM.

Proud Mother.  “BUT REALLY NOW, DR. BIRCH, DON’T YOU THINK IT RATHER EXTRAORDINARY THAT WE SHOULD HAVE THREE SUCH CLEVER SONS?”

Dr. B. “WHY, NO, MY DEAR MADAM; NOW YOU HAVE TOLD ME WHAT A REMARKABLY CLEVER GRANDMOTHER THEY HAD!”]

* * * * *

THE NEXT VIVA VOCE.

    ["Due consideration will be given in the selection
    of Candidates for Scholarships to proficiency in
    athletics.”—­Daily Paper.]

Examiner (courteously).  Have you studied any Latin author?

Candidate (with hesitation).  I once looked into CORNELIUS NEPOS, but never could construe half a dozen lines.

Exam. What have you studied in Greek?

Can. Tried the first page of VALPY, and got through the present of [Greek:  tupto]—­then gave it up.

Exam. Do you know anything about Mathematics?

Can. Fancy I have heard of the Rule of Three, but hanged if I know much about Fractions.

Exam. (a little despairingly).  Can you give the dates of the four WILLIAMS in English History?

Can. No.  Suppose followed one another, as shillings of the time of WILLIAM THE FOURTH still in use.  Suppose WILLIAM THE FIRST must have been about the end of the Eighteenth Century.

Exam. (with new hope).  Do you know anything about Geography?

Can. Not without a Continental Bradshaw.

Exam. (nothing daunted).  Can you tell me the name of the spot which is supposed to be the centre of the universe?

Can. I haven’t the faintest idea, but suppose you mean Monte Carlo.

Exam. (as a last resource).  Do you know anything about Law?

Can. Nothing at all, except that one of my friends had to pay five pounds, the other day, for assaulting a Policeman.

Exam. (losing his temper).  Then what on earth do you know?