Remembrensers, et setterer, in horder as the longing world may see what sorts of Gents they was, and how they all looked when in their werry best close, and with their lovely solid gold deckorations on (as the HEMPERER and the Prince of WALES begged and prayed as they might have one a-peace) who arranged and carried out the grandest show of modern times, wiz, when the GERMAN HEMPEROR and his wife cum to Guildhall.  Oh, wasn’t they a long wile before the Gent coud get ’em all into good places, and didn’t they all look sollem, when he said, “Quite steddy, please!”

[Illustration]

But not noboddy as reddily gives a ginny for a mere coppy of what I saw dun, will see all I saw without paying no ginny, and that was, to see the hole grand picter built up, as it were, beginning with the Lord MARE in his white hermine robe of poority and his black Cocked Hat of Power all most bewtifoolly and kindly arranged for him by the hartistic Sheriff.

And then what a lesson on trew humility, to see the Lord MARE, in all his glory, retire to the Committee’s dressing-room, and there strip hisself to his werry shirt-sleeves and clothe hisself in the mere hordnary close of common humanety!

Ah!  I henvys no man his persession of the bewtifool Photygraff, for I, almost alone, can say, tho but a pore hed Waiter, I saw the grand pictur grow like’ a bewtifool dream, and then saw it fade away like a strawbery hice on a Summer’s Day!

ROBERT.

* * * * *

LA POLITESSE DE PORTSMOUTH.—­The French Fleet may depend upon a courteous welcome at Portsmouth by the Mayor, who is the “Pink” of Politeness.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  THE HEIGHT OF IMPROPRIETY.

Miss Grundison, Junior.  “THERE GOES LUCY HOLROYD, ALL ALONE IN A BOAT WITH YOUNG SNIPSON AS USUAL!  SO IMPRUDENT OF THEM!”

Her Elder Sister.  “YES; HOW SHOCKING IF THEY WERE UPSET AND DROWNED—­WITHOUT A CHAPERON, YOU KNOW!”]

* * * * *

“A LONG DISTANCE SWIM.”

["Our Session began before last year was closed.  It has been a Session full of anxiety, full of fatigue.  I am thankful to agree with your Lordship in thinking that the people of this country will recognise that it has been a Session of hard and valuable work.”—­Lord Salisbury at the Mansion House.]

  Don’t talk about WEED, FINNEY, FISHER, or DALTON;
    As Long Distance Swimmer our SOLLY stands first,
  His wild watery way never tempted to halt on,
    Undaunted by cold as by hunger or thirst. 
  Nine months in the waves, though, no man may enjoy;
  So he’s glad that at last he’s in sight of the buoy.

  In November last year he first entered the water,
    To start on this special, most arduous swim,
  It was cold, with the wind in a winterly quarter,
    But winds, like the waves, have small terrors for him. 
  You remember accounts that the papers then gave
  (Here’s an extract) concerning this King of the Wave.