“This is the question,” retorted J.A.P., “or it is at least leading me up to it.  I am about, Mr. COURTNEY, to show how, supposing the War Office at Carthage had been managed on the same principles as those which govern the conduct of the Right Hon. Gentleman, my illustrious ancestor, instead of routing the enemy, would have fled from the face of FLAMINIUS, scuttled off before SERVILIUS, and would never have lived to vanquish VARROW at Cannes.”

“You rather had STANHOPE there,” said POLTALLOCH meeting J.A.P. in the Lobby afterwards, and shouting down at him a few words of hearty encouragement.

Business done.—­Another gallop through the Votes.

* * * * *

LADY GAY’S SELECTIONS.

Phantom Lodge, Ascot.

DEAR MR. PUNCH,

[Illustration]

Here I am once more at Ascot—­beloved of Women and Milliners! Ascot, I mean, not myself, as I’m thankful to say women don’t like me—­Milliners don’t count as women, of course, being so very liberal-minded; and that’s the advantage of being “somebody,” and having a figure—­you can get all your gowns on the condition of telling everyone (in strict confidence) who “built” them!  I had a most fatiguing day yesterday, as, after arriving, I had to show the Baroness all my Ascot “confections,” and I made the poor dear quite jealous, which, of course, vexed me, as she is quite my dearest friend!  I was much gratified to see my protest against these “glove contests” so admirably and cleverly “seconded” (I’m afraid that’s a fighting expression) by one of your wonderful Artists in Black-and-White (black and blue it might have well been on this occasion)—­though, by the way, he must have been present himself, or he wouldn’t have seen how ashamed of his own face every man was!  We shall have the dear wretches wearing veils next, I suppose!

On every hand I hear great complaints of the “moderate lot” our English Three-year-olds have turned out; and the Vicomte DE FOSSE-TERRE (a descendant of the historical QUEEN OF NAVARRE) quite upset our dinner-party last night by claiming immense superiority for the French horses of the same age—­why should this be?—­I don’t consider the French ahead of us in politeness, so why should they be so in breeding?  However, the fact remains, that no English Horse will run in the French Derby this year!

Lord STONEHENGE tells me we may expect the “Dissolution” very shortly, and I’m sure the poor Members must be glad of it, for this weather makes one long to dissolve—­though I must say it seems to me an absurd time to choose, as it will stop the Season and upset everybody’s arrangements!  These things will be better managed when we get a “House of Peeresses” at the head of affairs—­and that is only a question of time, I feel sure!