To everyone who does not look upon SHAKSPEARE’s work as “Holy Writ,” the question must have occurred, why did the Divine WILLIAMS put his excellent rules and regulations for play-actors into the mouth of a noble amateur addressing distinguished members of “the Profession”?  Imagine some royal or noble personage telling HENRY IRVING how to play Cardinal Wolsey, or instructing Sir FREDERICK LEIGHTON in painting, or telling J.L.  TOOLE how to “get his laughs”!  Probably actor and artist would listen in courtier-like silence to the illustrious lecturer, just as SHAKSPEARE makes his players behave when Hamlet is favouring them with his views on the histrionic art.  In Mr. GILBERT’s skit the leading Player makes a neat retort, and completely shuts up Hamlet,—­who, being mad, deserves to be “shut up,”—­much to the delight of King and Court.  But, the question remains, why did SHAKSPEARE ever put this speech to the players in Hamlet’s mouth?  My theory is, that he did not want BURBAGE to play the part, but couldn’t help himself, and so, out of pure revenge, he introduced this speech in which he makes BURBAGE himself condemn all his own faults.  Later on the Queen describes Hamlet as “fat and scant of breath,” which certainly was not the author’s ideal Prince of Denmark; and this is evidently interpolated as “a nasty one” for BURBAGE.  At the Court Theatre the skit is capitally played all round, though I confess I should have preferred seeing Hamlet made up as a sort of fat and flabby Chadband puffing and wheezing,—­an expression, by the way, that suggests another excellent performer in this part, namely, Mr. HERMANN WHEEZIN’, who might be induced to appear after a lot of “puffin’.”

[Illustration:  An Awful Moment of Suspense.  Mlles.  May, Christine, Ellaline, and Decima implore Lord Arthur Grossnez not to throw up the part.  He cannot refuse them; il n’ose pas.]

Finally, A Pantomime Rehearsal is still about the very funniest thing to be seen in any London Theatre at the present time.  The ladies are, all of them, as the old gentleman in Pink Dominoes used to say, “Pretty dears!” They dance charmingly, especially Miss ELLALINE TERRISS and Miss DECIMA MOORE, whose two duets and character-dances are things of joy for ever.  The representative of Jack Deedes, Barrister-at-Law and Gifted Author, is LITTLE and good, and the services of Mr. DRAYCOTT as the Lime-Light Comedian are invaluable.  WEEDON GROSSMITH and BRANDON THOMAS are better than ever:  their duet is immense, but their combat is too short.  Why not introduce a Corsican Brothers duel?  The music, by Mr. EDWARD JONES, is thoroughly appropriate and very catching.  By the way, one of the songs most encored goes with the exquisitely sensible and touching refrain of “Diddle doddle diddle chip chop cho choorial li lay,” which was enormously popular about thirty years ago when it was sung at