Golfe San Juan.—­French war-ships in Bay.  Admiral might like to know my views on Rossendale and politics generally.  Taken on board.  Admiral much interested in MADEN’s victory.  Admiral asks if it was the “Grand Prix” that MADEN won?  Find he thinks MADEN is a horse.  Disappointing. [Query—­ANDREW CLARKE again?] Sent on shore in boat, amid cheers from sailors.  Gratifying.

Back to St. Raphael.—­Tired, but on the whole gratified with my day.  Friends pained to hear what I’ve done, and threaten to telegraph for Sir ANDREW!  Shall pack up and return.  Letter from MORLEY begging me to stay where I am.  Odd!  Can Sir ANDREW have got at JOHN MORLEY?  Bed, and think it over.

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BROTHER BRUSH, A.R.A.—­Stan’ up, STANHOPE FORBES! and receive our congratulations on your election.  STAN-HOPE deferred maketh the painter’s ’art sick of waiting, and now A FORBES, not The FORBES (which his name is JAMES STAATS, C.L.C. & D.R., &c., &c.), but the STANHOPE A-foresaid, has obtained his first grade.  With what pleasure will the Art-loving Chairman see his STANHOPE “on the line!” In Burlington House, of course we mean, as elsewhere, the situation would be one of no slight danger.

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“PLEASED AS PUNCH.”—­A paragraph in the D.T. informed Mr. P. and the public generally, that “Dr. ROBSON ROOSE and Mr. ALLINGHAM are contented with Mr. EDWARD LAWSON’s progress.”  “If Box”—­“And Cox”—­“are satisfied,” then of all Mr. E.L.’s friends in front none will be more delighted to hear of his complete recovery than his neighbour, Mr. Punch, of 85, Fleet Street.

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SOMETHING NEW IN SOAP.—­The Soap Trade is still booming.  Almost every week appears a fresh candidate for public favour, its claim based upon some alluring speciality.  We hear of a newcomer likely to take the cake (of soap).  On all the walls, and in most of the advertisement columns, will presently blaze forth its proud legend:—­“The Satisfactory Soap—­Won’t Wash Anything.”

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[Illustration:  LEGAL IMPROVEMENTS.

IN ORDER TO HUSBAND OUR JUDICIAL STAFF, IN FUTURE A JUDGE WILL BE
EXPECTED TO HEAR TWO CASES AT THE SAME TIME.

PORTRAIT OF A JUDGE TRYING A THEATRICAL “CAUSE CELEBRE,” AND A NICE
QUESTION AS TO A “REMAINDER-MAN” AND A “TENANT IN TAIL MALE.”]

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HIGH (BEERBOHM) TREESON!

DEAR MR. PUNCH,—­I see that Mr. BEERBOHM TREE in his recent production of Hamlet has introduced a novelty into the tragedy by inventing fresh business.  Unauthorised by the text, he has included Ophelia amongst the Court “attendants,” and, finding her on the stage, has indulged in a dignified flirtation (in dumb show), worthy of the hero of L’Enfant Prodigue himself.  Now I think this a great improvement, and were the masterpiece to be “written up” throughout on the same lines, I am sure the representation would be received with enthusiasm.  It might be that the performance would be a little longer, but think of the enormous gain in interest.  To show you what I mean, I take the first five lines of the opening Act:—­