SHAKSPEARE’S VERSION.

    SCENE I.—­Elsinore.  A Platform before the Castle.  FRANCISCO
    on his post.  Enter to him BERNARDO.

  Bernardo. Who’s there?

  Francisco. Nay answer me:  stand and unfold yourself!

This passage, furnished with proper business, might be rendered the means of showing the sort of life led by Laertes, justifying the advice subsequently given to him by Polonius more appropriate to the conditions of the case as now (for the first time) fully divulged, Thus—­I give my view of the matter:—­

AMENDED VERSION.

SCENE I.—­Elsinore.  A Platform before the Castle.  As the Curtain rises, shouts and laughs are heard without.  A Village Maiden rushes in, as if pursued.  She hides herself behind the sentry-box, and then escapes.  FRANCISCO, who is on his post, looks about, and is surrounded by Danish Gallants, who have come in pursuit of the Maiden.  He threatens them with his arms, and only one remains, who seems overcome by wine.  The intoxicated Gallant is masked, and evidently very much the worse for liquor.  He clumsily draws his sword.  FRANCISCO is about to despatch him, when the mask falls, and in the dissipated reveller the Sentry recognises the bloated features of LAERTES.  He immediately presents arms, as LAERTES is his superior officer.  LAERTES, half-sobered by this suggestion of discipline, wishes to retire unseen, and gives largesse to FRANCISCO.  The Sentry is greatly gratified, when to them enters BERNARDO.

  Ber. Who’s there?

  Fran. (sheltering LAERTES, who stealthily retires by
    a rope-ladder which falls from the battlements to the moat
    below).  Nay, answer me.  Stand and unfold yourself!

By my version I really introduce a most interesting underplot, which, in my opinion, is equally pleasing and quite as defensible as Mr. BEERBOHM TREE’s business with Ophelia.

Yours, A STICKLER.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  HUMAN NATURE.

Jones has always professed the greatest Indifference to (and contempt for) all Press Criticisms on his Work (although he takes in all the Papers).

YET THIS IS WHAT HE LOOKED LIKE WHEN HIS NEW NOVEL WAS PRONOUNCED A WORK OF GENIUS BY THE UPPER TOOTING EXPRESS.

AND THIS IS HOW HE APPEARED WHEN THE NORTH CLAPHAM GAZETTE DISMISSED THAT IMMORTAL BOOK AS A PIECE OF DRIVELLING SENILE TWADDLE.

AND THIS IS THE WAY HE TREATS ALL NEWSPAPERS, REVIEWS, PERIODICALS, &C., &C., THAT LEAVE THE IMMORTAL BOOK UNNOTICED!]

* * * * *

THE ATTACK ON THE “CAPITAL.”

A LAY OF MODERN LONDON.

[Arrangements have been made for great political meetings
in the Metropolis, at which the Liberal Leaders will be the
principal speakers.]