A brother of the bride, or if she has no brother, then her “favorite cousin” is always asked by the groom to be usher out of compliment to her.

The bride returns the compliment by asking the sister of the groom who is nearest her own age, to be bridesmaid, or if he has no sister, she asks a cousin or even occasionally shows her courtesy by asking the groom to name a particular friend of his.  The bride in asking her does not say: 

“Will you be one of my bridesmaids because Jim wants me to ask you.”  If the bridesmaid is not a particular friend of the bride, she knows perfectly that it is on Jim’s account that she has been asked.  It is the same with the bride’s usher.  The groom merely asks him as he asks all of the others.

When a foreigner marries an American girl, his own friends being too distant to serve, the ushers are chosen from among the friends of the bride.

=BRIDEGROOM HAS NO TROUSSEAU=

A whole outfit of new clothes is never considered necessary for a bridegroom, but shabby ones are scarcely appropriate.  Whatever his wardrobe may stand in need of should be bought, if possible.  He should have, not necessarily new, plenty of good shirts of all kinds, handkerchiefs, underwear, pajamas, socks, ties, gloves, etc., and a certain number of fresh, or as good as new, suits of clothes.

There was a wedding not long ago which caused quite a lot of derisive comment because the groom’s mother provided him with a complete and elaborate trousseau from London, enormous trunks full of every sort of raiment imaginable.  That part of it all was very nice; her mistake was in inviting a group of friends in to see the finery.  The son was so mortified by this publicity that he appeared at the wedding in clothes conspicuously shabby, in order to counteract the “Mama’s-darling-little-newly-wed” effect that the publicity of her generous outlay had produced.

It is proper and fitting for a groom to have as many new clothes as he needs, or pleases, or is able to get—­but they are never shown to indiscriminate audiences, they are not featured, and he does not go about looking “dressed up.”

=THE WEDDING CLOTHES OF THE BRIDEGROOM=

If he does not already possess a well fitting morning coat (often called a cutaway) he must order one for his wedding.  The frock coat is out of fashion at the moment.  He must also have dark striped gray trousers.  At many smart weddings, especially in the spring, a groom (also his best man) wears a white pique high double-breasted waistcoat, because the more white that can be got into an otherwise sombre costume the more wedding-like it looks; conventionally he wears a black one to match his coat, like the ushers.  The white edge to a black waistcoat is not, at present, very good form.  As to his tie, he may choose an “Ascot” of black and white or gray patterned silk.  Or he may wear a “four-in-hand” matching those selected for the ushers, of black silk with a narrow single, or broken white stripe at narrow or wide intervals.  At one of the ultra smart weddings in New York last spring, after the London fashion, the groom and all the men of the wedding party wore bow ties of black silk with small white dots.