Con. Are not Fools dress’d up in a different Manner from wise Men?

Innk. I can’t tell how well it becomes you, but your Habit does not differ much from theirs, if it had but Ears and Bells.

Con. These indeed are wanting, and we are the Fools of this World, if we really are what we pretend to be.

Innk. What you are I don’t know; but this I know that there are a great many Fools that wear Ears and Bells, that have more Wit than those that wear Caps lin’d with Furs, Hoods, and other Ensigns of wise Men; therefore it seems a ridiculous Thing to me to make a Shew of Wisdom by the Dress rather than in Fact.  I saw a certain Man, more than a Fool, with a Gown hanging down to his Heels, a Cap like our Doctors, and had the Countenance of a grave Divine; he disputed publickly with a Shew of Gravity, and he was as much made on by great Men, as any of their Fools, and was more a Fool than any of them.

Con. Well, what would you infer from that?  That a Prince who laughs at his Jester should change Coats with him?

Innk. Perhaps Decorum would require it to be so, if your Proposition be true, that the Mind of a Man is represented by his Habit.

Con. You press this upon me indeed, but I am still of the Opinion, that there is good Reason for giving Fools distinct Habits.

Innk. What Reason?

Con. That no Body might hurt them, if they say or do any Thing that’s foolish.

Innk. But on the contrary, I won’t say, that their Dress does rather provoke some People to do them Hurt; insomuch, that oftentimes of Fools they become Mad-Men.  Nor do I see any Reason, why a Bull that gores a Man, or a Dog, or a Hog that kills a Child, should be punish’d, and a Fool who commits greater Crimes should be suffered to live under the Protection of his Folly.  But I ask you, what is the Reason that you are distinguished from others by your Dress?  For if every trifling Cause is sufficient to require a different Habit, then a Baker should wear a different Dress from a Fisherman, and a Shoemaker from a Taylor, an Apothecary from a Vintner, a Coachman from a Mariner.  And you, if you are Priests, why do you wear a Habit different from other Priests?  If you are Laymen, why do you differ from us?

Con. In antient Times, Monks were only the purer Sort of the Laity, and there was then only the same Difference between a Monk and a Layman, as between a frugal, honest Man, that maintains his Family by his Industry, and a swaggering Highwayman that lives by robbing.  Afterwards the Bishop of Rome bestow’d Honours upon us; and we ourselves gave some Reputation to the Habit, which now is neither simply laick, or sacerdotal; but such as it is, some Cardinals and Popes have not been ashamed to wear it.

Innk. But as to the Decorum of it, whence comes that?

Con. Sometimes from the Nature of Things themselves, and sometimes from Custom and the Opinions of Men.  Would not all Men think it ridiculous for a Man to wear a Bull’s Hide, with the Horns on his Head, and the Tail trailing after him on the Ground?