Innk. He was no Fool, whosoever he was, that contriv’d it.

Con. And it is the chief Thing in living happily, for a Man to accustom himself to be content with a few Things:  For if once we begin to indulge ourselves with Delicacies and Sensualities, there will be no End; and there is no one Garment could be invented, that could answer so many Purposes.

Innk. I allow that.

Con. Now let us consider the Decency of it:  Pray tell me honestly, if you should put on your Wife’s Cloaths, would not every one say that you acted indecently?

Innk. They would say I was mad.

Con. And what would you say, if she should put on your Cloaths?

Innk. I should not say much perhaps, but I should cudgel her handsomly.

Con. But then, how does it signify nothing what Garment any one wears?

Innk. O yes, in this Case it is very material.

Con. Nor is that strange; for the Laws of the very Pagans inflict a Punishment on either Man or Woman, that shall wear the Cloaths of a different Sex.

Innk. And they are in the Right for it.

Con. But, come on.  What if an old Man of fourscore should dress himself like a Boy of fifteen; or if a young Man dress himself like an old Man, would not every one say he ought to be bang’d for it?  Or if an old Woman should attire herself like a young Girl, and the contrary?

Innk. No doubt.

Con. In like Manner, if a Lay-Man should wear a Priest’s Habit, and a Priest a Lay-Man’s.

Innk. They would both act unbecomingly.

Con. What if a private Man should put on the Habit of a Prince, or an inferior Clergy-Man that of a Bishop?  Would he act unhandsomely or no?

Innk. Certainly he would.

Con. What if a Citizen should dress himself like a Soldier, with a Feather in his Cap, and other Accoutrements of a hectoring Soldier?

Innk. He would be laugh’d at.

Con. What if any English Ensign should carry a white Cross in his Colours, a Swiss a red one, a French Man a black one?

Innk. He would act impudently.

Con. Why then do you wonder so much at our Habit?

Innk. I know the Difference between a private Man and a Prince, between a Man and a Woman; but I don’t understand the Difference between a Monk and no Monk.

Con. What Difference is there between a poor Man and a rich Man?

Innk. Fortune.

Con. And yet it would be unbecoming a poor Man to imitate a rich Man in his Dress.

Innk. Very true, as rich Men go now a-Days.

Con. What Difference is there between a Fool and a wise Man?

Innk. Something more than there is between a rich Man and a poor Man.