57.  Jokes, bon-mots, or the little pleasantries of one company, will not often bear to be told in another; they are frequently local, and take their rise from certain circumstances; a second company may not be acquainted with these circumstances, and of course your story may not be understood, or want explaining; and if, after you have prefaced it with, “I will tell you a good thing,” the sting should not be immediately perceived, you will appear exceedingly ridiculous, and wish you had not told it.  Never, then, repeat in one place what you hear in another.

58.  In most debates, take up the favourable side of the question; however, let me caution you against being clamorous; that is, never maintain an argument with heat though you know yourself right; but offer your sentiments modestly and coolly; and, if this does not prevail, give it up, and try to change the subject, by saying something to this effect, “I find we shall hardly convince one another, neither is there any necessity to attempt it; so let us talk of something else.”

59.  Not that I would have you give up your opinion always; no, assert your own sentiments, and oppose those of others when wrong, but let your manner and voice be gentle and engaging, and yet no ways affected.  If you contradict, do it with, I may be wrong, but—­I won’t be positive, but I really think—­I should rather suppose—­If I may be permitted to say—­and close your dispute with good humour, to shew you are neither displeased yourself, nor meant to displease the person you dispute with.

60.  Acquaint yourself with the character and situation of the company you go into, before you give a loose to your tongue; for should you enlarge on some virtue, which anyone present may notoriously want:  or should you condemn some vices which any of the company may be particularly addicted to, they will he apt to think your reflections pointed and personal, and you will be sure to give offence.  This consideration will naturally lead you, not to suppose things said in general to be levelled at you.

61.  Low-bred people, when they happen occasionally to be in good company, imagine themselves to be the subject of every separate conversation.  If any part of the company whispers, it is about them; if they laugh, it is at them; and if any thing is said, which they do not comprehend, they immediately suppose it is meant of them.—­This mistake is admirably ridiculed in one of our celebrated comedies, “I am sure, says Scrub, they were talking of me, for they laughed consumedly.”

62.  Now, a well-bred person never thinks himself disesteemed by the company, or laughed at, unless their reflections are so gross, that he cannot be supposed to mistake them, and his honour obliges him to resent it in a proper manner; however, be assured, gentlemen never laugh at or ridicule one another, unless they are in joke, or on a footing of the greatest intimacy.  If such a thing should happen once in an age, from some pert coxcomb, or some flippant woman, it is better not to seem to know it, than to make the least reply.