40.  Long talkers are frequently apt to single out some unfortunate man present; generally the most silent one of the company, or probably him who sits next them.  To this man, in a kind of half whisper, they will run on for half an hour together.  Nothing can be more ill-bred.  But, if one of these unmerciful talkers should attack you, if you wish to oblige him, I would recommend the hearing with patience:  seem to do so at least, for you could not hurt him more than to leave him in the middle of his story, or discover any impatience in the course of it.

41.  Incessant talkers are very disagreeable companions.  Nothing can be more rude than to engross the conversation to yourself, or to take the words, as it were, out of another man’s mouth.  Every man in company has an equal claim to bear his part in the conversation, and to deprive him of it, is not only unjust, but a tacit declaration that he cannot speak so well upon the subject as yourself:  you will therefore take it up.  And, what can be more rude?  I would as soon forgive a man that should stop my mouth when I was gaping, as take my words as it were, me while I was speaking them.  Now, if this be unpardonable.

42.  It cannot be less so to help out or forestall the slow speaker, as if you alone were rich in expressions, and he were poor.  You may take it for granted, every one is vain enough to think he can talk well, though he may modestly deny it; helping a person out, therefore, in his expressions, is a correction that will stamp the corrector with impudence and ill-manners.

43.  Those who contradict others upon all occasions, and make every assertion a matter of dispute, betray by this behaviour an unacquaintance with good-breeding.  He, therefore, who wishes to appear amiable, with those he converses with, will be cautious of such expressions as these, “That can’t be true, sir.”  “The affair is as I say.”  “That must be false, sir.”  “If what you say is true, &c.”  You may as well tell a man he lies at once, as thus indirectly impeach his veracity.  It is equally as rude to be proving every trifling assertion with a bet or a wager—­“I’ll bet you fifty of it,” and so on.  Make it then a constant rule, in matters of no great importance, complaisantly to submit your opinion to that of others; for a victory of this kind often costs a man the loss of a friend.

44.  Giving advice unasked, is another piece of rudeness:  it is, in effect, declaring ourselves wiser than those to whom we give it; reproaching them with ignorance and inexperience.  It is a freedom that ought not to be taken with any common acquaintance, and yet there are these who will be offended, if their advice is not taken.  “Such-a-one,” say they, “is above being advised.  He scorns to listen to my advice;” as if it were not a mark of greater arrogance to expect every one to submit to their opinion, than for a man sometimes to follow his own.