[In a recent case before Mr. Justice CHITTY, a doubt was expressed as to whether there was still such an officer as the Sergeant-at-Arms attending the Courts.  His services had not been required since 1879.  After some inquiry, however, he was discovered.]

  SERGEANT-AT-ARMS, where wert thou?  Haply pensioned
    In some remote and solitary spot;
  By lips judicial never even mentioned,
    The Courts forgetting, by the Courts forgot. 
  Far from thy kind in some provincial village,
  Didst thou devote thy hoary age to tillage?

  Didst thou, perchance to lower heights declining
    Lately, as busman, strike for higher pay? 
  Or, to the lash of fate thy soul resigning,
    Wear a red cap and drive a brewer’s dray? 
  Or didst thou on a hansom seek to fleece men,
  And scorn the fair, and battle with policemen?

  Or, didst thou play (as often I have seen a
    Musician play in snow, or sleet, or rain)
  The cornet or expansive concertina
    Outside a public-house, and all in vain? 
  Music hath charms, but public-house men mock it,
  Let loose an oath, but button up their pocket.

  Or, didst thou write, as some have done, a shocker,
    And sell it on the stalls of Mr. SMITH? 
  Or, write us versicles like FREDERICK LOCKER,
    Or, ANDREW-LANG-like, talk about a myth? 
  Or, by thine own success amazed and staggered,
  Make Zulus make thee rich, like Mr. HAGGARD?

  Or, like BUCHANAN, didst thou quite exhaust in
    One volume such abuse as fits a barge? 
  Twitter and chirp like Mr. ALFRED AUSTIN,
    Or make a trifle mystically large,
  Like SWINBURNE, round whose verse the fog grows stronger
  Just in proportion as his lines are longer?

  Whate’er thou didst, where’er thou wert, we found thee. 
    “Behold!” we cried, “the Sergeant reappears.” 
  Let not our welcome overmuch astound thee,
    Whom we have missed through twelve unhappy years. 
  Restored at length to England, home, and beauty,
  Sergeant-at-Arms advance, and do thy duty!

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ANCIENT “BLOCK SYSTEM” AT ETON.

[Illustration:  The Head Master.  “Here’s wishing you well!”

N.B.—­The rod may not be a whack-simile of the original, but our old Eton Boy says it is quite near enough, and, “in his position at the time,” as he adds with truth, “it was impossible to see it.”]

* * * * *

The ’Bus Strike being at an end, the newspapers will discontinue writing de Omnibus rebus, and must employ themselves upon quibusdam aliis.

* * * * *

“JUST A GOIN’ TO BEGIN.”—­The Fourth Centenary of the Foundation of Eton College is the Festival of the First Saint ’Enery.